Close Your Eyes: Book Two

Chapter Ten

Posting this earlier than I wanted for Chloe

Also the song (since I know somebody will ask) is Need You Now by Lady Antebellum :)

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I drop my head into my hands and start crying again.

"It's okay to be afraid." Sofie whispers, rubbing my back. "But it's not okay to let that fear run your life."

I sniffle multiple times and wipe at my eyes, but the tears just keep coming.

"You're in love with Liam," she whispers, squeezing my hands.

I lie down on my bed and stare at the ceiling, my tears sliding down the side of my face.

"I'm in love with Liam," I mumble.

She climbs onto my bed and pulls me into a hug.

My mind drifts to the song playing and I feel more tears slip from my eyes.

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now

I lazily look at the time.

11:37PM.

I've been having a breakdown four hours.

"What do you want to go now?" Sofie whispers to me.

I look down and shake my head.

There's no way I'm going to bed without talking to Liam first.

"I want to go see if Liam's okay."

"I'm coming with you." she says.

I get up and change out of my jeans into sweatpants, a long sleeve pajama shirt, my snow boots, and my winter coat.

"Do I look like I've been crying?" I ask her.

"Your hair looks like it's been thrown into a wind machine and glued back to your head, and you look like you've been crying for two and a half years."

I look at the door and then back at me.

"Okay, let's go."

I shove my phone and my dorm key into my pocket and slip out of the room.

Sofie follows me as I make my way downstairs.

"What are you going to say to him?" she asks when I push open the door to enter the freezing world.

"I'm going to wing it," I announce.

"Good plan," she nods.

We walk across campus and my anxiety rises when I push open the door to Liam's building.

We take the elevator up to the forth floor and I look at Sofie anxiously.

"If you're not ready, we can go back," she says quietly.

"I can't drag this on."

I walk up to Liam's dorm and knock.

A few moments later, the door opens and Mason pulls it open.

He looks me up and down and then steps aside.

I walk into the room with Sofie behind me.

Liam's sitting on his bed in a pair of sweatpants and no shirt and...he's looks like he's been hit by a bus.

His hair is sticking up in multiple different places. And his eyes are hollow. He just looks exhausted.

"Uh, we should go..." Mason trails off.

"Good idea." Sofie pulls open the door and they both slip out together.

The sound of the door shutting causes the room to fall into silence.

He hops down from his bed and runs his fingers through his hair, but he says nothing.

I run my hands across my face and remove my coat, wrapping my arms around myself.

The silence is becoming deafening, so I just blurt out the first words I can think of.

"You're wrong," I force the words out of my mouth and I find myself getting frustrated. "You're wrong." I shake my head. "I see you, Liam. I see you the way that you see me, I have for a while now, but I don't think I realized it until you brought it up, and then Sofie helped me realize it, and I just-" I swallow nervously and wring my hands together. "I love you too," I whisper shakily. "But I just-" press my palm against my forehead and start crying again. "I don't want you to get stuck with me." I say, bouncing slightly. "Because I'm better now, I am, but at the end of the day, I am still the eleven year old girl that was taken out front of her house. I still wake up screaming, and I still get scared in social situations. You deserve so much better than-than some kid who can't stop reliving the nightmares of her past. I don't want you to get stuck with me, Liam, I can't." I shake my head frantically. "It's not fair to you. I have problems, okay? Real, serious problems, and I don't want to turn into your burden. I don't want to ruin what we already have."

I hide my face in my hands and shake my head.

Dammit! I can't stop crying.

He doesn't say anything and I feel my heart drop four stories down.

I take a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm myself.

A moment later, I feel his hands on my wrists, gently pulling them away from my face.

I look up at him, right into his eyes. He studies me for a long time, and then he puts both of his hands on my cheeks.

"I love that eleven year old girl for who she is," he murmurs, and his voice is so soft that my breath catches in my throat. "There is not a thing you could do that could change the way I feel about you. You will never become a burden to me, Savannah, because you are everything. You're the rain. You're the sun. You're the earth. You're the bridge over the water, the leaves on the trees. You are everything."

"B-but what if it doesn't work? What if we break up?" I mumble weakly. "I don't want to lose you all together. I can't." I put my hands on his chest and hold my breath.

And then he smiles.

"You don't understand," he shakes his head. "Once you let me have you...there's not a chance in hell I'm letting you go."

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i LOVE HIM SO MUCH YOU GUYS IT HURTS I WAS UGLY CRYING WHILE WRITING THIS

~SAM