Tea & Heartbreak

• Anxiety •

We ran into each other in the halls today.

Your hair was rugged and long, your eyes were bright, and my God, I wanted to pinch your cheeks so badly.

But then I really thought about it and realized that no matter how handsome you are, you're not the guy I fell in love with anymore.

You're not him.

Your beautiful dark brown eyes, chiseled jaw, and prominent cheekbones are nothing. They're all just remnants of what was once mine but now another's.

I wish I really knew what you thought about me now. I would do almost anything to know.

Almost.

But what's the point?

We both know that you left me when things got tough. You were a coward.

And you still are.

And no matter how much I love you, I have come to accept that and I know that I deserve better than that.

You were scared, but being a coward is a different thing.

A coward runs, he runs without saying goodbye.

What's so fucked up is that I claim to be over you but I know that deep down, the anger I have for you is the only way to express how shattered I am because of what you did.

It makes me angry that I gave you everything.  It makes me angry that you left me. It makes me angry that you now have someone else.

It makes me feel like what we had was nothing.

Because maybe it really was.

But the other day, my friend told me something really smart.

I told him that you had a new girl, and that you replaced me so quickly.

Whether you believe it or not, he actually said something smart.

He said that a person who loves you will never replace you. If they do, then that just simply means that they're not the same person who loved you anymore. It's like they've become a whole new being, a different entity.

So I guess, you're not the person I used love anymore too.

Whoever he was, I know that he would never replace me.

Not even if the world depended on it.