4 years. It's been 4 years. Camila carried on her life and career with a rock on her heart and a cold exterior in front of everyone except close family and friends. Shawn has been "surviving" his life with the only hope of rekindling things with Cam...
It was now the 30th of December. Christmas has passed better than I thought it would. I had Taylor, Ariana, Ed, and Justin. My friends to keep me happy and sane. On Christmas Taylor had passed out presents to all of us given by 'Santa'. I had gotten a pretty bracelet with my name carved onto it with intricate designs. I know I'll be wearing that all the time now.
After the gifts were given, Taylor surprised us all once again. She's bought party outfits for us with accessories and all that. So after we got all dolled up, we went to this VIP area in a restaurant. Most of us shared everything with each other even though we all had ordered our separately orders. After we came back home we had a ton of dessert. Tubs of icecream, brownies with icecream, chocolate covered strawberries, sundaes, and much much more.
The day after Christmas no one had enough energy to take off all the Christmas decorations so I was happy about that. However we did take them off by the 27th and 28th. We had a bonfire each night. We'd get all the food stuff in the afternoon when it was the least cold (it was still really cold anyways) and then we'd make some dinner together, play some weird games and watch movies. All the girls even had a spa day yesterday before our bonfire. Saying that it wasn't relaxing would be a lie.
Today was a chill day. To be quite honest, everything had been 'chill' since we came to this not-so-hut hut. It made me - if not the others - forget about the stressful life we all live back in LA. With fans, paparazzis, albums, songs, writing, recording, interviews and everything, that life gets pretty hectic. So I had mixed feelings about going back in 3 days time. To say i was sad about leaving this not-so-hut was putting it lightly. I was so emotional I cried last night with Ariana. We had a good laugh about it afterwards so it's good.
Shawn and I had not spoken yet which was surprising since I'd seen him around tons of times. He'd tried talking to me only twice and both times someone or the other had saved me. Those two might've been Justin and Ariana. The thing was. I would love to talk to him. I would love to ask him his reasons. His reason for cheating his reason for always needing to lie to me ins some way rather it be a dare or plain cheating on me. The lie would be that he loves me.
Because come on. Which man, who's cheated twice (maybe the first was a genuine accident but I'm starting to not believe that now even though I saw the evidence) , would love someone? That kind of man is incapable of love. And shouldn't even be given the right to love.
I could talk to him. And I wanted to. But I knew myself. I knew he'd plead and give me that look. The look in honey brown eyes always sold me to him. The way he'd pleadingly utter my name from his perfect mouth and they way his tears (real or not) would glisten on his ever so smooth cheeks. The way he'd hold my hands in both of his strong ones and rub my hands with his.
I remembered our relationship before all this. The way he'd hold me while we kissed. The sleepless nights we'd have talking. The way he'd stare at me while I was babbling any nonsense but he'd stare at me as if I was the most precious thing in the world and he saw no one but me. The way he'd call me 'honey' and the way his soothing voice would calm me down after anything nerve racking would happen. His gentle ways, his sweet gestures. Everything. All that made it seem like Shawn Mendes loved me but in reality it was nothing close to that.
But was I sure of that? No.
•••
This is just a short chapter explaining Christmas and blah blah and then Camila's thoughts about Shawn at the moment. Also guys the next chapter might be the end and I might cry because I absolutely loved righting this book but we'll see but I'm sure I will cry tomorrow when I publish the last chapter oh my god 😭
I do have good news tho :)
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THIS IS MY NEWEST FANFIC. IT IS CALLED "Starlight" I've obviously just started writing it BUT i hope that you all go read this new baby after THIS book ends (sad OMG 😭) Here's part of the summary.
Even though there were a million Stars waiting for him
She would always remain..his Starlight.
YA AND THATS ALL. IM STILL SAD THIS BOOK IS ENDING. BUT HEY ALL GOOD THINGS MUST COME TO AN END RIGHT. ANYWAYS OKEASE DONT BE GHOST READERS AND BY THAT I MEAN DONT JUST READ AND GO PLEASE PLEASE DO COMMENT ON CHAPTERS AND VOTE.
