It's like when you are making toffee and the mix is finally starting to harden but it isn't quiet done cooking yet. So you have to keep stirring as hard and as quickly as you can, if you stop even for just a second the entire batch could burn. But the mix is so hard that you feel as if your spoon might just...snap. I am the spoon. My life is a series of ingredients that if not stirred continuously, will rapidly start to burn. The only difference? If you mess up a batch of toffee you dump it into the trash and start over. It is fixable. Life is not something you can just start over with. No matter how much we may wish for a redo, it just can't happen. So what do you do when you feel like your spoon is about to snap?
It's like that moment when you were little and playing in the pool with your friends. When you guys decide to race to the other side, but the rules are you can only run. Your feet must stay on the pool floor. Ready? Set? Go! You push off and start pumping your legs as fast as they can possibly go. Yet you are barely moving. The water is pushing back against you, almost as if it doesn't want you to get any further. But you stay determined and keep running with all your might. Sure, you make it to the end of the pool but you are out of breath and ready for a nap. That is life. Except the pool just keeps getting longer the closer you get to the edge.
It's like playing hide-n-seek. When you are crouch low in the closet behind all the clothes trying to be as quiet as possible. Thump, Thump, Thump, you can hear the sound of your heart racing from the nervous and excitement. You know someone will find you eventually and try to prepare for the moment someone pops out of nowhere and screams "GOTCHA!" Yet every time it happens you still jump, scared half to death. You laugh it off and pretend like you totally knew they were there all along. I feel stuck in a game of hide-n-seek but instead of it being with friends I am constantly trying to calm my heart so that they don't hear just how scared I am to be found out.
