Spanish lessons

3. Packing a punch

Aria was born in March 2016. Although Harry had always been very careful with protection when he had one-night-stands or relationships during his time with the boys, one time gone wrong was enough to change everything.

He had been seeing her mother for a while, but being a father was still very far off in the future. Theoretically. Until the day Florence walked in with the positive pregnancy test. To be precise, they weren't together anymore at that point, but she was fair enough to tell him about it and they decided together to keep the baby. After lots of long talks in late evenings, crying on her part (must have been the hormones) and also his (well, solidarity? and also being utterly terrified), they had settled on a plan on how to make this work and raise this child in the best way possible, considered the circumstances. Fortunately, they had separated on good terms and were on the road to being good friends.

Until Florence disappeared.

Harry had just came back to England from filming Dunkirk and was miserable that he had missed the first months of Aria's life (in all the books he had read they were often stressed to be the most important ones). Florence had agreed to stay with Anne until Harry came back, since she had no family of her own. None she talked to at least, or would trust to help with taking care of a newborn child. But when Harry stepped through the door of his childhood home in Holmes Chapel, after 5 months of intense work at the film set, excited to see his family again, things were not the same anymore.

"Hey girls-"

Harry stopped in his tracks. When he came through to the combined dinner and living area, Anne was sitting at the dinner table, with 7-month-old Aria on her lap. The house was quiet.

He stepped forward, settled down his bag, and greeted his mother with a hug and his daughter with a soft kiss to the forehead.

"Hey darling, good to have you back", replied his mother with a smile, but Harry immediately noticed the sad expression in her eyes.

"What's wrong? Where's Florence?"

"I'm so sorry, love", Anne whispered. "Let me put Aria to sleep quickly and then we can sit down and talk."

While Anne put the baby to sleep, Harry brought his bag to his bedroom, changed clothes and put the kettle on. Just when she was done reading Aria her bedtime story, Harry sneaked into the nursery to kiss his little girl goodnight. Mother and son then settled down on the couch with a hot cup of tea; Harry proper confused about what had happened while he was away, Anne with an ache in her chest and mostly worried about how her son would react to the mother of his child leaving without explanation two days ago.

"So she just left." Harry's eyes had lost the sparkle they had earlier when he was excited about reuniting with his family. Anne could barely hear him, his voice quiet and strained. She put down her cup, the tea had long gone cold after she tried to explain to him the best she could what had happened. Even though she wasn't quite sure herself, and she was there when it happened.

"Yes. I came home from grocery shopping, we had set a time for when I would be back to watch Aria because she wanted to go for a walk, alone. When I entered the living room, Aria was in her playpen, but Florence was nowhere to be found. I searched the whole house twice. Normally, she would wait until I came back before she left so we could quickly talk if necessary. But she just wasn't there. I tried to call her, it went straight to the number you called is unavailable. Later in the evening, when I contemplated what could have gone wrong, I got a message from an unknown number."

I can't do this anymore. I waited till Aria was old enough to not be breastfed anymore, so she will be fine. Harry and you are the best people I could hope for to care for my, our child. Please do not try to contact me. It's better this way, believe me. Thank you for everything, and tell Aria I love her so much. F xx

Anne got up to get her phone and show Harry the message, but he declined. Tears welled up in his eyes.

"I wanted to tell you, but since you were coming home today anyway I figured it would be better to talk about this in person. Plus, I still had hope she would come back."

"I could have seen this coming" he admits. "I mean we talked a lot about how we would manage this together, as co-parents, but also if we as individual people were ready to have a child. Well, not ready exactly, but committed and sure that she and I want to do this. And I was, and still am. She seemed hesitant at first. I wouldn't have agreed to our plan in the end if I hadn't been entirely sure that she was in this fully, too. I must have missed something."

Harry had slumped onto the couch. His hands were trembling, he had set down his cup afraid of spilling tea on the fabric of his mom's couch. Anne had joined him on his side of the couch and started slowly stroking his hair. She still needed to get used to his locks being gone, he had left for filming shortly after getting the haircut. Her son was a very intuitive person and rarely wrong about his impression of people. She couldn't even begin to imagine the pain he must be in thinking he had missed something in the mother of his child, of all people.

They stayed like this for a while, Harry curled up on the sofa and his mother trying to comfort him. When Anne noticed he had fallen asleep, she got up, fetched a blanket from the armchair and covered him up. She stood up to go to sleep herself after this exhausting day. Glancing down at her heartbroken son one last time, a single tear rolled down her cheek and her chest tightened. His life was hard enough most days being this famous, and she wished she could take some of this burden off his shoulders. He was so brave. But this was a new kind of emotional earthquake. Anne just hoped they would get out of this safely. All three of them.

A dry throat woke Harry up the next morning. He remembered crying last night when his mom told him what had happened with Florence. Looking around, he noticed he must have fallen asleep on the couch from the exhaustion. To be honest, this morning didn't feel very different. He got up, folded the blanket his mother had covered him with and shuffled to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Downing it in one go, he contemplated what to do now.

Their plan on how to take proper care of Aria considered he would be away for long times relied on both of them, plus his mom and sister. Florence being gone, the house of cards they so carefully put together collapsed.

No. Giving up was not an option. He could do this.

Carefully as to not wake his mother, Harry stepped up the stairs to the nursery where his daughter was still sleeping peacefully. Thank god Aria was such a relaxed baby. She probably had no idea about the mess going on around her.

Harry sat down next to the cradle and stroked Aria's hair. Slowly, tiny curls had started to form on her head. Her hair was a light brown, not as dark as his own, infused with some ginger streaks from her mother. The red would come out more as it grew longer, and Harry was so excited for seeing his princess grow up.

"We can do this together, princess, okay? You and me? We will be the greatest team the world has ever seen. I know I have not been around much lately, and I am so terribly sorry for not being there for you when you started to explore this world. I hope you can forgive me for that one day. But I am here now. And I vow to you, love, from now on I will be there. Every single day. And if not in person, your and my heart are always connected. And I will show you the world, princess. I will show you all the beautiful places on this planet, the spots I hold dear in my heart and the ones I haven't visited before. We will do this together. I love you so much, princess."

Just when Harry had finished and wiped a tear away from his right cheek, his daughter started to wake up. He took her tiny hand softly into his, and as she opened her eyes (they had started to turn green a few weeks ago), they made a silent promise to each other. His heart whispered to hers: I am yours.