Women's Guide to Dating

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Women's Guide to Dating

“So, can I have your number?” The blonde flirted. I shook my head. That’s a big ‘No no’ in my book. Rule number one, never ask for his number. Let him do the crawling.

The dark headed man smirked. He knew he had her. “How about I take your number?” Remember, when a guy say’s he’ll call you, or takes your number, it’s so you don’t have any way to contact him.

The blonde giggled while grabbing his bicep, she laughed hysterically, nearly bouncing on the spot as her cheeks bloomed with colour. Rule number two, never act desperate, and keep them on their toes.  

“Sure. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?” She didn’t wait for him to confirm, she jumped him, wrapping her tiny arms around his neck and planted her lips on his. Rule number three, never, and I mean never, initiate the kiss. Too forward and pushy. Guys don’t do forward and pushy.

The dark headed man trailed kisses down the blonde’s neck; she probably thought he was trying to be sweet. Think again. He’s going to make sure he leaves something to remind her of him. What better way than to brand her with a love bite? See, once this girl leaves, she’s never going to see this man again. That’s if he follows his procedure right. Which, believe me, most men have. He’s going to brand her with a hickey, and he’s never going to call. He’s going to make sure the blonde knows that she had given herself to him as no other than a one night stand.

Ladies, you’re doing it wrong.

The Princess and the Pauper Phase

With that finished, I posted it for the rest of the world to see. I blog. A lot. That’s the reason why I can’t get a decent man. The words of my mother. I don’t need a man, and I don’t want one. It’s easy for guys to play girls. As long as you’ve got what women think they need. Which is; Looks. A job. Decent personality.  And money.

The kind of girl that gets played are the girls that don’t look further than the decent personality, the looks and the money. Basically, you let them play you. It’s easy really. Tell them what they want to hear, and they’re putty in your hands. 

Despite me knowing and blogging about all these tips and pointers to getting the man you want, I’ve never been in a relationship. Where do I get this knowledge from? It’s all around me.  

My mother, Rosalind Carmel, is the person to thank for my knowledge. Since I was eight, I’ve never seen one man stick around longer than a day. Two days is the maximum. Yet, she still goes out of her way to date the men that both me and her know aren’t daddy material.

It’s never ending cycle really. The bitch messes with the nice guy. The nice guys turns into an asshole. The asshole messes with the nice girl. The nice girl turns into a bitch and it starts again.

Being 21 and still not having a boyfriend, is an abomination in my mother’s eyes.  I’m perfectly fine with Regina, my laptop, my blog and Lucky. I don’t have a stable job. I do have a degree in English, but I don’t want to be an writer. Magazines these days want something or someone glamorous, and that’s not me. And, no matter how many thongs and garters my mother throws at me, I’m never going to wear them. Simple as ABC, easy as 123.

“Ray!” Ah, and my other half arrives. So, maybe, I am living off my best friend and roommate. But, in return, she knows where to go for great advice and awesome treats. I didn’t answer, she’d find me anyway. Because, the only place I’d actually be is my office, AKA my room.