ʜ ᴏ ʟ ʏ

15.

The silence that dawned between them was unbearable. She hated it. She envied how her words were bundled up in a welp within her throat, she hated the eyes that prowled her in such manner, she hated how she glued to her chair. It was hard to even utter a word when her gaze was like scalding fire to her skin. It was unbearable. "It's nice to see you in my presence today Ms. Bonnibel." The woman spoke, her voice as smooth as butter. It's not like she had much of a choice either way. It was either attend the therapy prep or receive what her uncle had to offer, which was not quite pleasant. But instead of settling into the silence, she did the right thing and spoke. "Im glad to be here." Her words came out almost sharp and hostile, but she consealed it to the best of her ability. It was hard to listen to the woman when most of her time spent around school was spent zoning out. There were plenty of things to keep her mind astray from what she really should be focused on, Marceline and Vivian being a big part of it. After their shared encounters in the girls room, Bonnibel had been trying her best to avoid the girl, atleast she tried, Vivian wouldn't give up. She declined any other offer pushed her way, tried her best to stay as far away from her as she could, and even avoid her during class or free time. But Vivian was to hard to say no to. Growing up spoiled and always being gifted your desires was not a good thing for her. The girl took it way to personal when she was declined. All week long the girl had at it with cooing persuading offers in her ear, relieving the moments they shared within her room, and even taking it as far as gifting her and convince her. Vivan yearned for her deeply. Bonnibel could almost say she gave in. But every time, every single time the thought of saying yes slipped her mind, she couldn't stop herself from thinking of Marceline. Maybe it was out of guilt? Of all the sadness that loomed in her chest Marceline held the upmost highest part. She missed the girl. "Shall we get started?" The voice of the woman tore her away from her mind pit of thoughts and back to reality. Right... Reality. Bonnibel gave a faint nod and tuned into the woman's words. "You should know by now that at Saint Anne's we have a way of catering to the needs of our students religion wise." She paused, looking up from the documents that filled her hand to enforce her stern eye. Bonnibel sat still. "In order to partake of the help we offer to your inclination, I will need you to cooperate. Do you understand?" From behind the lenses of her glasses, her counsler stared awaiting her answer. "Yes ma'am." Bonnibel breathed out. "Good." She returned to the vanilla folder in her clutch as she began to slowly flip the pages while her eyes scanned them thinly. "Such a shame." The counselor spoke to no one in particular, not helping the curiosity that filled Bonnibel one bit. And as if she read her mind, the teacher faced Bonnibel. "This here." She waved the folder around to pin what she spake of. "These papers are your documents from elementary to highschool." That had to explain the few words that lined the paper. Usually, a roudy kids files would be filled to the max with reports and complaints from teachers, but Bonnibel's not so much. From preschool and up, her teachers never had anything negative to speak about the girl. Its like the word negative and Bonnibel couldn't be in a sentence together, unless describing her negative mood of the meeting. "From preschool and up you've had nothing but good reports and excellent grades." Damn right she did. "So I guess your life style must not originate from your behavior." And there it came, the part where they broke down every aspect of her life and analyzed it to further support their claims. They always believed every students life choices came from the past, and that wasn't the case for many. Just because one came up from a rough childhood, doesn't mean it impacted their life negatively. Trying her best not to provoke her teacher, Bonnibel stared with anger stored away behind her orbs. "It must be the other thing I suppose." The woman closed the filing folder and set it aside on the edge of the old table, meaningful words beginning to form in her mouth. Bonnibel didn't like her look. "Tell me about your parents, dear. " it was at that moment that her angry deemener shattered, and the words in her throat retreated down farther. Every mere mention of her parents always brought up the unwanted emotions. She didn't like thinking of them to much. Growing up she couldn't remember much about her family before they passed, she was only just a child. With a deceased mother and father, her feelings never settled well upon her. All the other kids around her always had their parents, alive and well. All she got was her uncle, which wasn't to good. "They uh- I..." Her words cluttered together like dishes in a sink. Just like a plate spiraling towards a hard exterior, she was seconds away from shattering upon impact. Mr. Tina was not having it. "Spit it out girl." The sound of her fist colliding against the surface of the table filled the room following her voice. Startled by her dominance in the situation, Bonnibel buckled down into her chair and prepared her words. "I didn't know much about them." The words fell from her mouth with a shaky sigh. "They were around during my 1st and part of my 2nd year of life. From what I've been told they were fine people who wanted nothing more than to bring their own creation of life into the world. They were good people." She felt like she was on the verge of tears. The woman had no right to push her into speaking on a matter that she mainly kept secluded due to the pain around it, but she had to adress it sooner or later, right? She wasn't sure, but Ms. Tina looked satisfied with her response. "Now if I may, how did they pass?" Don't falter to her words, Don't falter to her words, Don't falter to her words, she repeated to herself over and over again. Such a touchy topic could only probe someone to breaking. " They died in a car accident on their way to pick me up from a relatives home." She whimpered. Every words she spoke earned a burning sensation from her throat and tears that threated to spill over the barrier of her eyes. Ms. Tina seemed to notice. "Oh a cryer I see? It's pretty common during sessions for some. Don't be afraid to shed a few." Her words were further reason why she wouldn't cry. She wouldn't give the woman the contentment of seeing her tears flee. She wasn't going to give her that. "Alright." She paused, yanking up a sheet of paper with her name printed on the heading with a pen and placing them on the table. "Now we have something to work with. Given. The conflict of your deceased parents and more we shall uncover next session, it seems we have a start to piece together your choice of lifestyle." The spite seeped through her words. Bonnibel tried her best to clear the tears she refused to let fall as she watched the woman scribble the words "deceased parents" on the paper. The woman turned the paper towards Bonnibel and allowed her to steal a glance. "This is your conflict paper, where we will add more and more quarrels from your past life and adress them in a way that will solve your current conflict with your sexuality." Though the counselor had a way with her words, everything ahe spoke was nonsense, and Bonnibel wasn't with it. "There are people that have dealt with worse in their past times and still continue a heterosexual lifestyle." She protested, trying her best to not raise her voice. Ms. Tina seemed taken back by her reply, spreading her lips and letting out a smothered chuckle. "Now see Bonnibel, that is where you are wrong. Even if they continue a NORMAL lifestyle with their sexuality, there are other ways they are corrupted from past trauma in their life. Drug users, murderers, suicide commiters and so much more I can't explain. Yours just happened to be your sexuality." Sitting in her chair with possible thoughts, Bonnibel sat silent. No words leaving her mouth, almost no intrest in the topic, and as still as a clover on a windless day. She remained that way for the rest of the session, up until the woman addressed her. "I guess it's dismissal time, huh? We'll get more out of you next time." Bonnibel didn't reply, facing the woman awaiting to be released. "You know the drill, bow heads and join hands." She did as told, lowering her head and gripping the teachers hands within hers. "Dear heavenly father, I ask you to place your hands upon this child today and give her the guidance she ever so needs, I pray that you relieve her of her sins and bring her to the light." Bonnibel listened as the teacher ushered the final words of their ending prayer before the grip on her hands was released and her head crowned upwards. "You are dismissed." The words filled her body with relif, Bonnibel fleeing from the chair she bound to for the last hour and exiting the small teaching room upon the ring of the bell. All the other students erupted from the doors that lined the halls and parted their separate ways, done with their weekly therapy prep. With no classes and night dawning on the at such time, the cafeteria rumbled to life with girls awaiting their final meal before sleep. Bonnibel wasn't a fan of the food served but she needed something to fulfil the growls that sprouted from her gut. It seemed like she wouldn't get that opportunity with the new prescence that formed at her side. She didn't even have to face the culprit to know who it was. All she needed was the simple "miss me?" To recognise the girl. Vivian. Her lipstick coated lips pulled back in a cunning smile as a kind gesture but Bonnie wasn't having it. Bonnibel continued to walk towards the shortened lunch line but Vivian wasn't budging. It seemed like she couldn't take a hint. "Vivian please, I've had rough day." It was true she had. Therapy prep, the mention of her parents, always the absence of Marceline and Phobe, and trying her best to avoid Vivian. "Let me help you relive yourself then." Her cold hands grazed her shoulders, Bonnibel not replying to her words or contact. "Oh my dear Bonnibel, what will it take for you to let lose with me? Beer? Gifts? A night of laughs? Anything?" And for a brief second, just a brief one, she thought. What was one thing she craved the most in the school? It wasn't hard to find her answer. Bonnibel wanted nothing more than to have Marceline back at her side again to make up for the month they've been separated. And with the help and persuasion of the principles daughter, that may be able to happen. A smile threatening to line her mouth, Bonnibel turned to Vivan and delivered her answer.