The void

Genesis

From deep beneath the trenches of his soul he uttered " I am..." Why couldn't he finish that statement? He asked himself, "Who am I?" Allen whispered... only in his culture did he find closure. It's sad really, the guy who supposedly "had an answer for everything" couldn't really answer one fundamental question... He tried looking up to the cosmos, grew closer to himself and introspective he was but.... Stillness, silence, vagueness were his daily bread.. "who am I?" He'd ask, no matter how much he knew, that question would always baffle him... " Why Am I so determined to find an answer to this?" He had everything, his life seemed to have direction but for some reason he never felt complete.... It's torturous the torment he put himself through just to get the slightest glimpse of who and what he represented, Waking up in his bed to his lavish lifestyle, he'd walk in it like he knew nothing of the sort, he'd look at everything in curiosity till his parents thought he was ill in the head. "Allen? Why do you do this to yourself?" His mom Sally would always ask... "Don't you know that seeing you so empty kills me inside?" But with a sharp grin almost as if to show that he's unphased by those words he'd respond "One of life's greatest mysteries is..." Then he'd keep quiet almost as if to hide his true intent. His mom would go on to ask, "what is it my son?" But just like the grave in the peak of midnight Allen stood quiet...

Solidarity has always seen to it that human kind progresses forward, but to him it seemed as if it was just a way of mind control, Sipping his cup of freeze dried coffee just as he did ever other morning he'd say " I haven't began to live till i find answers to my life's deepest questions." Sally puzzled as a rabbit stuck in a maze would just look at him and say " I hope that one day the answers you seek come running after you because it pains me how much you're distorted by these endless Questions you keep on asking." But Allen chicky as ever would reply " You know the world is what you make of it because of the powers that be, how can you say you've lived if you were controlled and manipulated into thinking that this is the right way to live? Have you ever wondered if it's really you who's living or someone else through your actions? We are victims of propaganda and mind control, we live and abide by the law bestowed upon us by God knows who..." But before he could finish there went his father Jeff hurling insults at him as he always did "Allen stop living in a fantasy, it's all you ever do, that's why you won't amount to anything, this is the real world and ..." Allen rudely interrupting "the real world huh? Since when is a life of slavery ever real? We are fighting to make it in life while we should be living it" with a toned down voice he whispered.. " I don't want to be a victim of so called responsibility" his father went on to say " Boy that's enough out of you, you need to start showing some respect instead of carrying your weight, a little responsibility never killed anyone!"

" A little responsibility?" Allen lashed out, " Maybe that's the reason you can't even spend an hour with me, my own dad.. the man I should look up to, but wait maybe that's just another form of mental imprisonment, the fact that i have to believe and rely on someone else so much so that i don't realise what I'm truly capable of, but then again i guess we all need someone to push us forward in life."

Jeff then picked up his keys as if he wanted to smack Allen with them but just stopping himself at the last second.

Why? Why didn't he hit Allen with those keys? Nothing stopped him... Maybe he knew what Allen meant, maybe he saw that he too was under some sort of hold, but the question still remained, "who controls the world?" I guess this is something Allen would never find out and that stabbed him deeply, Allen had to know what was going on with the world, why was everyone so obsolete and redundant? But these were answers he'd never receive no matter how much he pursued them.. it was an endless game of cat and mouse and the answers would always slip out out of his hands to a hole somewhere where he couldn't reach even if he wanted to.