He looked down into her eyes. Eyes that mystified him each time; he couldn’t pinpoint their color. Not brown, but not green, maybe somewhere in between. A light brown with hints of green depending on the light. He chased the thought away, but in its place came a new one. Or rather, an old and familiar one resurfaced. Much like her eyes, she was a mystery. There were times, like now, that he could look into her eyes and see her very soul. He knew he could read her like no one else in her life, but that didn’t stop her from shielding herself from him whenever he got too close. A defense mechanism, confusion, fear, distrust, or all of the above, he didn’t know what made her do it. Sometimes he was sure she didn’t even know the walls she put around herself. But he always tried to take them down. And he always would.
But in this moment, he’d managed to weed himself in before she realized what he was doing. And the pain he saw there was astounding. She gazed back at him almost desperately, silently begging him to save her. “Kate,” he whispered, broken for her. Her eyes shifted. Not so much in position, but rather the door she accidentally left open suddenly closed. Steel rose back into her eyes and she challenged him silently to do something about it. But the damage was done, and looking close enough, he could see the broken girl behind the bars. Castle decided right then and there that he would let that child loose. No more running, no more hurting, just free.
Castle and Beckett had found a new break in her mother’s case. Detective Raglan had called Beckett that morning, asking to meet with her at a diner in the city. Without meaning to, Kate had found herself knocking on Castle’s door asking for his help. It was there in his doorway where Castle had first seen her fear and uncertainty. So many things had washed over her face at once, and Castle had just wanted to pull her in and never let her go. But her strength and determination had prevailed as it always did and before Castle could act or even ask, she’d asked him for his help. Pure and simple, and yet it held behind it so many things. Witty remarks didn’t even make it into his mind, Castle had simply nodded, grabbed his coat, and followed her out the door. They’d made their way to the diner and found Raglan nursing a cup of coffee, appearing to savor the ceramic cup between his hands. Castle had noted that the man looked pale, almost sickly, and thought that maybe we was savoring the feeling of a hot mug warming his fingers. Raglan had looked up and took in the site of Castle. He rolled his eyes.
“What part of ‘no cops’ did you not understand?” He’d directed to Beckett.
“He’s not a cop,” she’d replied as she and Castle slid into the booth.
“So who is he?”
“Someone I trust.” Castle had looked over at her quickly. She trusts me, was all he could think dumbly. But’d he pulled himself away from his thoughts and focused back onto what the old man was saying. They didn’t get very far. Raglan had made a Scrooge reference as he admitted his overwhelming guilt over his former life as a cop. A lot of sins he held behind his badge, Ragland had said. Castle had wondered what they might be. He’d seemed sincere, though, when he told Beckett that nothing weighed on him more than her mother’s case. He’d started to tell her why, that something had happened seven years before her death, when the sound of shattered glass had caused the entire diner to erupt in a frenzy.
“Everyone down on the ground! Back away from the window now!” Beckett had shouted, looking for the source of the bullet that had penetrated the safety of the diner. But all Castle could see was the red stain on her white sweater.
“You’re hit!” He’d exclaimed, panicking and leaning in for a closer look.
“I’m fine, it’s not my blood,” she’d responded, her attention elsewhere. Raglan, he had thought quickly and looked over. Sure enough, the man had been sputtering, bits of blood escaping his mouth. Castle had crawled over to him, but it was too late. The lights in Raglan’s eyes were fading. He’d looked over at Beckett and shook his head.
