A Life, Unforgotten

An Unwanted Visitor, and a Fear Deep Within

A soft puff as Light pushed his fingers through his hair, half curled into the corner of his room. He hardly slept even after coming down from the Dark incident, and he hated that. His restlessness always had him too awake, too nervous, too afraid, too unable to sit still and wait. The events that went down, from hurting Billy and Hen and Osi and Sutekh to the detachment to the near-willingness to commit mass murder for sake of an experiment. It was so out of character. It was so unlike him. He would never, hurt anyone. Not a soul, it was too built into him here.

But, not into Dark. Things slipped away when he was like that, no grasp on morals, no grasp on restraint. No bars to hold him back. Nothing keeping him from acting out.

He should've stayed with Nyx. He should've gone to her the moment that form took hold of him. He knew it, and yet he ignored it for sake of not wanting to leave others behind. It only had the anger build in him, to the point it was sickening to even exist. He swears, for just a moment, he could feel a poisonous bit of that anger, and he'd given a sharp inhale. Focus. Keep control. Don't slip back into it no matter how much you want to.

He'd close his eyes, pressing the heels of his hands into them until white spots danced behind the blackness. It hurt but it tamed him, enough to have him sag against the corner wall when he'd pulled his hands back.

Though for a moment, that dazed eyesight had him see those monstrous hands. The worst thing he could see, the dangerous existence and signifier of the damned form. It was useful and /good/ around Nyx. But elsewhere, here? It was like an animal with no loyalty. Pen may have been an exception, more rooted in his head to protect those he knows against those he doesn't know. Though thinking about how he had /gutted/ a woman, it wasn't... his most graceful moment.

The hands had him bolt up, straight into the bathroom and kicking the door shut as quietly as he could, shakily pulling his shirt off, he still saw the black progressing, far past his shoulders and consuming most of his neck and chest, and still going. Eyes were wide and terrified, throwing the shower into the coldest setting possible and ducking into it with eyes closed, shorts be fucking damned.

But the moment he opened them, there wasn't a trace of the black. Nothing. Was he imagining it? He couldn't tell, but he knew that nothing could, explain it other than that.

He'd shake his head, sinking in the cold water this time, he felt like a mess. Afraid of himself now.

The only consolation was Nyx's voice in his ear, a song that calmed his racing heart, and a touch of her hand was all he could feel on his cheek for a moment. But it slipped away, as did her voice. She couldn't always be there for him, but he knew she was always there. And he knew she welcomed him at any time.

After a few moments, the cold just starting to sink into his skin when he felt another presence in his head. Unfamiliar, but an echo of sorts, similar to Nyx but... powerful. And aimless.

ʏօʊ'ʀɛ ռʏx's ռɛա ɢʊaʀɖɨaռ, aʀɛռ't ʏօʊ? sɦɛ ċɦօsɛ sօʍɛօռɛ ɨռtɛʀɛstɨռɢ, ɖɨɖռ't sɦɛ? ʏօʊռɢ, ɮʀɨɢɦt, ċʊʀɨօʊs... ɖaʍaɢɛɖ. tɦat's aʟʟ a ʋɛʀʏ ʄasċɨռatɨռɢ ċօʍɮɨռatɨօռ, ɖօռ't ʏօʊ tɦɨռҡ, ʟɨɢɦt?

wнo are yoυ, and wнy are yoυ ιn мy нead.

Light's retort was quick to this voice, eyes squinting at the wall with a gentle suspicion, but it was hard to focus with the water dripping from his lashes. The laugh in his ears was... too perfect, too unsettling.

ċօռsɨɖɛʀ ʍɛ ʟɨҡɛ ʏօʊʀ ɮʀօtɦɛʀ. աɛ ʊsɛɖ tօ ɦaʋɛ tɦɛ saʍɛ ʝօɮ, tɦօʊɢɦ sɦɛ sɛɛʍs tօ ɦaʋɛ ʀɛʄʀaɨռɛɖ ʄʀօʍ tɦɛ ċօռsօʀt քօʀtɨօռ. քɛʀɦaքs ɖʊɛ tօ ʏօʊʀ ɮɛɨռɢ օċċʊքɨɛɖ ɮʏ aռօtɦɛʀ — ռօt tɦat tɦat աօʊʟɖ'ʋɛ stօքքɛɖ ɦɛʀ ɮɛʄօʀɛ.

yoυ... wнaт are yoυ ιмplyιng? тнaт ιғ ιт weren'т ғor мy вoyғrιend ѕнe woυld нave мe aѕ a lover oғ ѕorтѕ? тнaт'ѕ мore тнan a lιттle υnѕeттlιng. noт тнaт ι coυld deny нer wιѕнeѕ вυт... ι мean, мy loyalтy lιeѕ вeтween тнeм вoтн. ι can'т leave eιтнer oғ тнeм.

aռɖ աɦat's stօքքɨռɢ ʏօʊ ʄʀօʍ asҡɨռɢ ʏօʊʀ ɮɛʟօʋɛɖ tօ sɦaʀɛ ʏօʊ աɨtɦ aռ ɛtɦɛʀɛaʟ ɮɛɨռɢ?

ι don'т lιĸe тнe ѕoυnd oғ тнιѕ. wнaт ιѕ yoυr naмe, ѕpeaĸ now or eхpecт тo вe ѕlaммed oυт.

Silence, for a moment too long, and he thought he was left alone. Until he'd shifted his wings, just enough to lift himself and turn the water off. Then it — he, returned.

ʏօʊ ʍaʏ ċaʟʟ ʍɛ ɛʀɛɮʊs. aռɖ tɦɨs ɨs ʍʏ օռʟʏ ռօtɨʄɨċatɨօռ օʄ tɦɨs. as աɛʟʟ as a աօʀɖ օʄ աaʀռɨռɢ — ɨ ɦaʋɛ ɮɛɛռ աatċɦɨռɢ ʏօʊ sɨռċɛ ʏօʊ sքaառɛɖ as a ɢɦօst.

geт. oυт.

Just like that, Light's defensive walls rose and slammed Erebus out. He recognised the name as a god but he couldn't pin which one, he scowled nonetheless. It had to have been him that was interfering with that. /Vision./

He'd rub his face in his hands, somewhat unbalanced by his poor soaked wings, and smother himself in a towel (maybe two.) Just return to his room — the /shared/ room between himself and Thy — swathed in the towels as he sank into his window nook. Eyes heavy with exhaustion, with silence, with... an offish calm.

He'd lower himself a touch more, this time using damp wings to cocoon himself, and he'd close his eyes. It didn't take long for his entire body give sway to the exhaustion.