I am Loki

Accusations

  It has only been three days since Prince Loki dropped into the abyss.
Sigyn sees their stares. Hears their whispers. Some are of concern. These she doesn't mind, because they are benign and harmless. At worst, their concern is tinged with pity.  Pity Sigyn cannot handle. She will not be made into some martyr for another man's sins. She holds her head high under the gaze of those worried eyes, remains deaf to their hushed tones. She will wear an unseen armor, she will pretend to not care. 

  A week later, concern turns to gossip. 

  She had been there when the second Prince had fallen. She had spoken to him not an hour before his confrontation with Thor. Most of the babble was just that, people wagging their tongues out of sheer boredom. Some of it, however, was nothing short of calumny. 

..what woman would spend hours of her time with a man like Loki if she weren't sleeping with him? What sort of person did that make her if there was no hint of commitment from either end? Surely, she had known about Loki's plans to overthrow Odin and Thor. Surely, she saw no issue with these injustices. Surely.. she was no better than the Trickster..

  Sick of their words, Sigyn spends more of her time in her chambers and less of it among the public. She has nothing to be ashamed of, for none of their words hold truth, but she cannot bear the weight of them.

  Several months later, the gossip grows to suspicion. What had only been questionable has turned into definite facts: she cannot be trusted. She is, without a doubt, no more than his harlot. The second Prince had been teaching her magic, therefore her powers must be equally as lethal with all of his malevolence..

  Thor remains the only person in all of Asgard to cast her kind looks instead of malicious glares. He speaks to her at the risk of his own reputation, but few question Thor's actions anyway.

  Somehow, over the months, not only had Sigyn been painted as Loki's ally, but Thor his conqueror; the fact that Loki had willingly let go instead of allowing Thor to pull him to safety was not acknowledged. 

  Because of this, Sigyn supposes it is safe for Thor to be seen with her, but still she tries to put a stop to it. He doesn't deserve to suffer any doubts of his people, he is a good man. He doesn't listen to her righteousness, will not slander her for his own sake, even after she screams at him on one occasion to leave her be. It is only to her very own soul that she admits that she needs the company, the friendship. She was not meant for abject loneliness. A year passes until Loki returns, shackled, muzzled, and destined for the dungeons and Sigyn is troubled. 

  She sat in the window nook of her bedchamber, massaging a bit of the indigo colored drapes absentmindedly between her thumb and forefinger. Usually, she sat here to read, late into the hours of the night and early morning, the lights from the city below glowing brightly enough to see by. But tonight the tome she'd chosen to read lay forgotten and unopened by her side. 

  If she were honest with herself, Sigyn would realize that she spent most of her nights like this of late, mind preoccupied and heavy, but she didn't like to acknowledge the amount of time she spent gazing out her window. To acknowledge that meant to be flooded with feelings she'd forced aside for the sake of her sanity.

  From her seat she could see the jagged edge of the multicolored bridge that held the Bifrost, the faint outline of Heimdall - who still stood there - overlooking the abyss that had been rendered there over a year ago. That was where it had all started, hadn't it? Her nights of solemn observance.

Loki..

  She remembered how troubled his mind had been when his father had fallen into the Odin-sleep, how solitary he made himself when - with Thor banished - he was forced to ascend the Asgardian throne. 

  They'd been dark times and, at the time, Sigyn thought they couldn't have gotten darker. Surely, their troubles would pass, Loki would feel at home on his throne, or at least Odin would wake. But no. Thor had returned and the brothers had fought. 

  The guards had to force her to remain in her room, where she could unfortunately witness the entire battle, see the Bifrost explode with its eerie scream of pain. What she hadn't been able to see, she found out later when Thor and Odin returned without Loki.

  She'd been told her friend had died, fallen into the abyss the Bifrost's destruction had created. Though Thor had offered his apologies and, in her heart, she knew he was sincerely distraught himself, Sigyn would hear none of it and turned on her heel at Asgard's golden heir to mourn the loss of her friend, while the others feasted and rejoiced at Thor's return. She refused to dine or associate at all with the other Aesir, she could not bear to hear their degrading remarks about her friend Loki.

  Months later, Thor came to her chamber door one evening. He looked as if the weight of the realm had been laid onto his broad shoulders, grim and tired. "He lives," he'd said. "I do not know how, but my brother lives."

  He informed her that he'd found Loki among the mortals on Midgard, though he would not say what Loki was doing there. Sigyn had begged and pleaded for Thor to take her to him, but Thor looked troubled as he told her that was an unwise decision. "I do not think Loki is right of mind," he said. "It would be dangerous for you to approach him. I'm leaving for Midgard at dawn and I will bring my brother home."

  And he had. As a damned prisoner.