Brittle Eyes, Brittle Dreams

4

The clearing blurred, as if driving sleet was trying to blot Ameridan and Telana out of existence entirely. But the air remained calm. Solas' face fell. "The memory ends here, vhenan."

Ellana shook her head hurriedly. "No. There must be more." She stepped forward vaguely. Her hands both reached out into the empty air. "I can't – I –" Her chin crumpled down hard for an instant. She breathed deeply but raggedly through her nose. "I need to see what happened next."

"You already know what happened."

"I need to see it," she shouted brokenly. She whipped around, her posture no longer at its full height. Her face compressed more and more by the second. Her lips tightened so much that they threatened to disappear entirely. "You can't start to give someone hope and then take it away."

Solas bridged the distance between them. The clearing remained. The moon's glistening and shadows on the grass remained. Only Telana and Ameridan were gone. "You saw as much as you needed to." His voice was careful and close.

She chewed her lip mercilessly. "It wasn't enough."

"It can always be enough if we know how to draw strength from something."

"What wisdom was there in that?"

"You choose an interesting word."

She frowned deeply. "What difference does that make? Damn you. Say what you mean. You never say what you mean. You –" Her face suddenly paled. She wheezed.

He rushed forward to brace her as her knees failed. She struggled for an instant, but he was too much of a tether to deny in her hurricane. Her hands clamped around him as she sobbed into his chest. There was nothing for either of them to say in that moment. Even her grief was silent this time. The dewy grass waved all around them as a gentle but prolonged breeze pushed the blades against their ankles. The moon shone on, its unflinching light neither friend nor critic.

"This burdens you too often," Solas finally murmured. "It robs you of too many hours." He swallowed. "And that is what you fear the most."

She didn't react.

"That is why wisdom weighs so heavily on you. You wonder how Ameridan found the strength to sacrifice himself as he did when it was unwise to do so. You wonder why Telana fought so hard to find him when it was unwise for her to try." He frowned and cast his eyes downward. "You wonder how two people who bore the same marks as you could be so reckless and brave when you would rather turn your back on all you have seen."

She stifled herself and finally lifted her head. She stared blearily at him, but she kept her silence, her eyes asking for his meaning better than words could.

"Telana tried to fight her talents. Desire often outweighs the impossible."

"I don't understand. How could she hide it?"

His eyebrows rose. "She did not." He sighed, almost imperceptibly but for the tiny bob of his shoulders. "But she knew her fate before she even realized what she was. She knew how dangerous being a Dreamer could be. She knew that even if she could make her clan understand, it was kinder to live apart from them–"

She pulled away. He released her. She raised a finger. "Don't."

"I only sought to show you facts. You have always accepted the truth." He glanced down furtively. "I have yet to see you flinch from it."

"But you would see me crumble?"

He swallowed. "Nothing can be built upon rubble. Some weapons must be forged with new metal instead of melted down from old remnants."