Dear Me,
Here we are, 11:30 at night on a Monday. Your roommate is asleep and has her sleep music playing, freezing cold from the air-conditioner. It’s two days after your first One Direction concert, you just found out last night that your dad is moving to Florida, and to top it all off, your best friend is moving too. Just so you know what mind frame we’re in as I write this. If I can be like this right now, you can be like this forever.
Are you ever going to get used to all of this? It doesn’t seem real right now, it hasn’t really set in; but it will. Trust me, that feeling in the pit of your stomach and that lump that’s been in the back of your throat for two weeks is going to go away.
Stop telling yourself you can’t do this. Put down the phone, stop writing the stories and realize that you’re going to be just fine. You are just fine right now, even if you don’t realize it; even if you think your life is plummeting to the pits of hell; even if you just want to pack everything back in the Jimmy and go home; DON’T, stay. It will all be worth it. You will find all the comfort in the world, right here if you just give it a chance.
These next four years will change your entire life, that’s what you think right? You’re completely and totally correct. How you choose to spend these next four years will determine everything: your career, your happiness, your location once you’re done, your lifelong friendships, literally everything. Who knows you may even meet the love of your life while you’re here. Don’t let these years slip through your fingers.
These next four years are yours, completely and totally yours. Find yourself.
Make new friends, don’t be a hermit like you were in High school. Be the friend that makes the plans, not just follows them. Get out there and be who you want to be, who you want to be it with.
Don’t be afraid to cry, as Ed Sheeran says ‘it’s all right to cry, even my dad does sometimes, so don’t wipe your eyes, tears remind you you’re alive.’ Let yourself fall apart every once in a while, there will always be someone there to put the pieces back together. Don’t be afraid to call home – wherever that may be – and explain your homesickness, how you just want to see them. They’ll let you come home, they’ll comfort you while you cry. Embrace it, it will always be okay in the end.
Write. Write about your feelings and continue with those stories, they make you feel better. Keep listening to those One Direction albums, even after they’ve broken up, they will always be the ones who saved you from yourself.
Don’t let the internet world distract you from the real world. There are people here who truly care about you, and who genuinely want to see you happy. Let this year, this new world you are in whisk you away, let yourself be faced with new challenges, let yourself take the road less traveled. Without trying something new, you’ll always be the same person, same thoughts and feelings.
Join a club, become and orientation leader, do something to get yourself out there, make yourself known.
Class, always go to class. I don’t care how sick you are, or how good your bed sounds, get up at 7:30 and go to that 8 o’clock class, it’s not like it’s that far away.
Study and push yourself harder than you ever have before. This is what really counts, this is what the rest of your life depends on, make it worth it.
Embrace every single aspect of what you’ve been given. This opportunity was presented to you on a silver platter, don’t screw it up. You’re going to become who you have wanted to be your entire life. Decide how you want to spend these next four years, and make it happen.
Most of all, don’t forget where you belong.
When you need a shoulder to cry on, or you feel like you can’t do this anymore, I’ve been there before, come find me.
All the love,
Maysea xx
