Dreadful Life.

Depression

You know when you have that feeling of hopelessness and inadequacy. It's like you lack of any interest in life any more.

It took my mum years to finally look at me and realize that I'm suffering from depression.

'Honey I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything.' She cries. 'You used to be a happy and cheerful girl with that beautiful smile of yours.' She cup my cheek with her hand.

Yes, I used to be that kind of girl. Up until whole bag of shits hit our family.

'It's okay mum, it wasn't your fault. It was his.' I gave her a half smile.

'I know but it was my fault in not asking for the divorce sooner. Now look at you. You're all broken.' Her head falls.

'Mum, don't worry I'll be alright. Things are going to be fine.' Those are the words that can give her a little faith. But we both know that I'm lying. 'Come on, tell me about that new promotion you got.' Trying to lighten up her mood.

She told me everything. I can't help but to block out her voice due to me daydreaming about our past.

Every time my mum and that guy who I'm not proud of calling my dad, fights. Thing just get bad to worse. I feel bad for my mum for not trying hater enough in helping her.

I got cuts and bruises from being beaten up and tied. Every night I always can't sleep, having to know that he could just come into my room and beat the living daylight out of me.

I tend to cut myself in order to keep myself calm and awake. With the scars I have no matter how fresh they are, being tied made them even worse than before.

'Lia?' I snap out from my daydream.

'Hmm?'

'We have to move to England.' She said.

'For?'

'My promotion.' She said. 'Did you listen to anything I said?'

'Yea, I did.'

'Really?' She give me her questioning look.

'Anyways, when are we moving?' I wasn't really keen on moving to another country but meh. It's life. Just gotta suck it up.

'Next week.' She said. 'I understand if you don't want to move, you got your friends here and all those.'

'Mum, don't worry about my friends.' I told her. 'I don't have friends any more.' Hoping that she won't hear the last part.

'Are you sure?'

'Yes mum. I'm sure. Now I don't want to be late for school.' I told her.

'Alright then.' She said. 'Tomorrow will be your last day in school cause we need to do lots of packing.'

'Okay. I'll see you later at home.'

~•~

'Amalina, you're late again.' Mr Lásto said. I don't really want to entertain him so I just walk towards my table as if nothing happen.

Everyone give me those pitiful look, yea if you pity me why make my life in high school like shit.

'Amalina Watsons! Principle's office now!' Mr Lásto shouts.

'Gladly, no wonder you're still single.' I said grabbing my bag and walk out his class not forgetting to slam the door.

I walk towards my locker and stuff all the books in and grab my pack of cigarettes and shove them into my pocket.

Heading out of campus, I decide to head to the principle's office later. Not really bothering if they care.

I take a stick and light it up, leaning against the school gate, I take a long drag.

'Well, well look who we have here. Isn't it Miss-I-used-to-be-prefect.' I hear someone said. 'Look at you going all badass.' I ignore whoever is that and continue to take a long drag inhaling the smoke, getting it into my lungs.

'What happen to you? What made you change?' The guy said.

No one actually knows the true story behind the reasons why I changed. It just happens. One day I was happy go lucky then next I'm the depress teenager with a bad attitude.

Finishing my cigarette, I flick the bud off and walk away from the guy.

'Amalina, you didn't answer my question.' He said.

'Shits happen. Deal with it.' I said walking off.