Open Your Eyes \\ Harry Styles

Chapter 10

Emerson's POV

"I killed Emerson"

The words echoed in my head.

The voice was familiar, it was one I couldn't forget.

How could he think he killed me?

He saved me.

Right now I was stuck between reality and fantasy.

Oh, how I wish this could be a fantasy.

But right now it's hard to get this feeling out of my body.

I would rather be in pain then feel what I'm feeling right now.

I was lighter... Giddier.

Maybe he was right, he did kill me.

I hope he did.

I hope I'm some way between Heaven and Hell.

Or at least a decent amount away from this place, drifting closer and closer to a better place.

I would be happy to fall into the pits of Hell and have it end there. I'd rather Hell than Heaven. Why? because there I wouldn't find good people to look down on me, to hurt me, to despise me, wouldn't have to face people like Harry or Zayn in my afterlife and most of all I could avoid all those fucking butterflies.

I hate butterflies.

But then again, I was never one to get what I wanted unless I got it myself.

I had basically diagnosed myself Suicidal since the age of twelve.

At the age of twelve; I had convinced myself I was better off dead.

I'd take freezing showers to try get hypothermia or I'd take two pills even though I had only one prescribed by my doctor, I'd stay underwater for as long as I could just to get used to the feeling of being submerged in water for a long period of time.

It sounds so pathetic... So stupid.

But it wasn't.

It's not.

Think; How do you make a twelve year old girl so unhappy... So unaware of any love for her?

How do you do that?! How do you make someone hate themselves so much that they feel as if they needed to end it?

I had voices, fucking voices, to keep me company.

Talk about a fucking bad childhood.

•

Oh.

This is not what I thought hell would look like.

It's close though.

I realised where I was when I saw the door with bullet-proof glass.

Sun so fucking bright if I got out of this bit of shade I was in I would probably instantly burn.

Who knew they had windows in the ward.

"You're awake"

"No. No I'm not. I have no idea what you're talking about" I said closing my eyes and smiling replying to the voice.

I didn't think anyone would come back for me.

I don't even know what the hell I'm doing, his voice just sounded so soft and gentle. He has a slight accent but nothing I could trace for I hadn't been outside of London.