A Place I'll Never Return To

Leaving for Good

"Hey Elle", I looked up at my auntie and placed my hands on my hips, "can you go pick up some boxes?", she asked as she pointed towards the few we had left then let her hand fall to her side.

"Yea", I said as I wipe the imaginary dirt off the seat of my pants. "How many ya think?", I asked as I brushed the hair out of my face, then decided to redo the loose I-don't-give-a-crap bun.

As I twisted my hair around in a feeble attempt my auntie looked at me, shrugged, then replied, "Ten medium and four large will probably do it".

"Okay, I'll leave now" I ended the conversation with a faint smile and looked around the apartment that I had called home for the past two years.

Once I had my favorite song playing through my speakers I put my car in reverse and backed out of my parking spot. At the bottom of the hill, I battled with myself if I should get Starbucks, Dutch Bros or a Sweet Tea from McDonald's. The cheap person inside me settled with McDonald's because I would basically get the same thing any place else. I arrived and instantly felt sick knowing that I would see ex-coworkers and possibly my ex. I was delighted to see Jose at the back window and let out a sigh of relief. My state of relief was however short lived because I then pulled around and saw Brody of all people at the front window. I told myself that I almost wished I would have seen Rhett, my ex, there instead. Almost, I repeated again. I let out a puff of air and pulled up to the window.

I avoided looking at him hoping he wouldn't recognize me or notice it was me, but as soon as he saw me he knew exactly who I was. He handed me my drink and asked me how I was, out of pity. He made small talk with me and got me to laugh. He told me that "San Antonio was the shit", dramatic eye roll, and that I would have a lot of fun there. I was just about to pull away for the sake of awkwardness when he did a double take and then looked nervous. "What?", I asked slightly worried.

"A large spider just crawled down from the headrest and between your seat and the center console" he replied and watched my face for my reaction. I winced and practically begged him to be kidding.

I looked around frantically for evidence and when I didn't find any I looked at him and said, "That isn't funny. You know first hand how horrified I am of spiders. You should know better than to say that".

"I'm serious", he deadpanned and raised his arms up in defeat.

"Great", I whined. "I'll see ya later, I guess," I asked half-heartedly. I turned the steering wheel and looked back at him. He half-assed a wave and a grin then I pulled away and out of the parking lot. "That was most likely the last time you will ever see him again in your life, Elle", I told myself with a heavy heart and pulled onto the main road that would take me to Home Depot.

On the Highway, a thought occurred to me that between the two of them, Rhett and Brody, that I should have spent my time on Brody instead of Rhett. Brody wouldn't have been nearly as immature as Rhett. Yes, they were both toxic to me, but Brody would have treated me better. I cringed at that thought. In this case, the one who was older than me was the better choice out of the two. Brody was eleven years older than me while Rhett was actually about a month younger. I shook my head to clear my thoughts and focused on driving, which didn't work very well.

Thoughts of him tainted my mind my whole ride to Home Depot. I decided to just drive for a while before I headed home in an attempt to not look as troubled when I arrived. As I was driving, the spider Brody told me about, appeared on my dash. I stealthily slipped off my shoe and attempted to kill it, but instead, I knocked it to the passenger floorboard and decided to leave it as long as it didn't disappear. I drove out to the church that I grew up at because 1) On all my drives I went there and 2) It was the closest place that I knew and that wasn't just the side of the road. I pulled into the parking lot, killed the engine and turned off my lights. I got out, slammed the door, and walked to the passenger door. I took a deep breath and exhaled before I opened the door. It's gone. Shit, my mind squeaked. I pulled at the floor mat and nothing. I pulled at it again and flipped up the corner. The spider came running out towards the edge of the door. I took my shoe off and smacked at it till I know it is a long time dead. I sighed of relief and put my shoe back on then walked inside the church to see who was there.