Accidentally on Purpose

Winding Staircases

I gripped tightly at the steering wheel and tried to focus on all of the questions Danny was asking me about Pittsburgh. The drive wasn't a long one – just above two hours – but it felt like it was dragging on with the constant chatter of the excited four-year-old in the back seat.

It had been two weeks since I made the decision to leave Columbus to move to Pittsburgh, and though doubts littered my mind and my stomach was constantly in knots, I knew the move was the best choice for Danny and I. I couldn't breathe in Columbus. Everything reminded me of him – the ice cream shop on the corner of our neighborhood where we would go every Saturday after dinner, the grocery store where he would always tag along when I went shopping, the park where we had our first date, the church where we had gotten married, the spot on the river where I would hide during the first miserable years of our marriage – the home we shared, the places we frequented – our whole life was in Columbus. He was ingrained in the city, both in body at the Union Cemetery and in spirit in everything around me.
'

"What does our new house looks like, momma? Are we gonna go to Uncle D's hockey games? Can I get his new jersey? Are we gonna meet his new friends? Am I gonna like Pitt- Pitt-"

I silently sighed as I rubbed at the migraine forming around my temple. "Pittsburgh, honey. If you can't say it though, its okay to just say Pitt or Burgh."

My son let out an adorable giggle and grinned his toothless smile – identical to his fathers – at me through the rearview mirror. It had taken some times before he seemed okay to move. He didn't want to leave grandma Angie or grandpa Mike or uncle Matt or aunt Nicole. He didn't want to leave his cousins – the children of Nicole and her husband David – didn't want to leave all the people he grew up knowing.

He especially didn't want to leave the connection to his daddy.

It wasn't until Derick had come up in the conversation – that he had moved to Pittsburgh to play hocket and he wanted us to come with him – that he had completely changed his tune. Instead of clinging to everything he was going to leave behind, he settled on promises of visits and practically pushed me out of the state himself. The little guy absolutely adored the center, especially after he rescued us after Christopher died.

"I don't know what the house looks like, babe, but Uncle D promises me that we'll like it. He has spend all week getting everything ready." I looked down at the GPS on my phone as I passed into the city limits of Sewickley, a neighborhood Derick had promised was a good one for us, as I attempted to remember and answer all of Danny's questions. "I am positive you'll have not only Uncle D's new jersey, but some of the other guys' one as well. And of course we're going to go to all the games – it's our favorite thing. We'll be at every home game, and maybe we'll go visit grandma and grandpa and watch the hockey games there."

I had called Derick during a much needed bathroom stop, about twenty minutes away from the address he gave me for the next chapter of our lives, to tell him where we were. He barely let me get the words "we're almost there" out before he was yelling into my ear in excitement. And apparently, I noticed as I pulled into the driveway of a way-too-big house, he had come outside to pace the front porch ever since then. Before I could put the car in park, my back door was ripped open and my son was squealing as he was being lifted in the air by my six-foot-one best friend.