Breaking Magic

Chapter 13: Adam

The three of us, El, Felix, and me, are sitting on El's bed in her room. We migrated into there instead of lingering in the kitchen in case El's dad comes out of his office for lunch, or one of her siblings comes home unexpectedly. We know that Felix's presence won't go over well with El's parents, and they would probably be even more upset if they overheard what we were discussing. They always knock before coming into El's room, so even if we're interrupted, Felix will have a few seconds to hide himself in the closet or under the bed.

He's not particularly thrilled about this plan, but reluctantly agrees.

He's sitting awkwardly on the very edge of the bed, teetering like he's about to fall off. It's like he thinks we're going to bite him, or that he doesn't want it to give the impression that we're all friends now or something.

"I've spent the last few days doing research," he's saying, and though I'm still frowning distrustfully at him with my arms cross over my chest, El is leaning in with eager excitement.  

"My mom is a huge nerd about historical figures, and she's a pretty passionate amateur genealogist. There are gaps in the records, but she thinks she's found anecdotal evidence that her family line may be directly descended from Merlin's. She's done probably as much research on him and his life as any magical historian, and I had access to enough resources to make me think that I might be able to discover the location of Merlin's tomb."

"Wait," I say, shaking my head. I want to hear what Felix has to say, I want to believe that he might have an idea that could help me, but this is all too much to swallow. "But isn't all that Merlin and Arthur stuff just made up legends? All those stories about Merlin are combinations of myths and legendary figures built up on top of each other over the centuries. We learned all this last year in Ancient Magical History. Almost nothing is really known about the real Merlin."

"More is known about the real Merlin than we learn in 11th grade history classes, Adam," Felix tells me, his eyebrow raised in an infuriatingly condescending way. I have the sudden urge to rip it right off. He continues: "It's like how they teach you the basic stuff in physics in school, but they aren't going to go into the complexities of quarks and quasars and dark matter. Even if your teacher knows about that stuff, there's just too much to cover. You can take entire courses at Hecate University about the life of Merlin, and see how the true facts of who he was and what he did can be pulled out of the varying accounts of magicians. There's still a lot that isn't known, like exactly where he was buried, but he was certainly real, he definitely had ten times the amount of power that any magician alive today has access to, and he wielded a staff. Merlin's staff has gone down in history as much as the man himself, and I can't think of anything better for you to use to control and direct your magic."

"Mr. Donovan thinks that the key in mastering my magic is in abandoning artifacts like wands all together," I say doubtfully. "Ms. Cross wants me to go train with a traditional healer who uses wandless magic, and might be able to teach me how to control the flow better."

But Felix is shaking his head. "This late in your life? You've hardly been any better off using your magic without a wand than with one. It's the same problem. You never learned how to manage, control, or direct your powers when you were a kid, and now you're too old. You'll never really be able to figure it out, it's too late. It's like learning a language. Little kids can pick up a new language in a few months, but some adults can never become fluent. No, trying to master wandless magic won't work. You'll just be setting yourself up for failure all over again. But Merlin's staff... you already know how to use a wand, you just can't because they aren't powerful enough to contain all the energy you pump into them. The staff would solve that problem entirely."

"What makes you an expert in my magic all of a sudden?" I ask, irritated. "Why do you think you know better than Mr. Donovan and Ms. Cross?"

"I've been in classes with you for three years, Adam. I've had a front row seat to what you can and can't do with your magic."