[COMPLETE] baisemain » yuta

baisemain ; 11

[jisoo]

so i followed yuta's ordered to make an appointment with a therapist today. so i'm getting myself ready for seeing the therapist and have a simple talked with it.

   i call a therapist it because it is the scariest person i scare the most. almost 2 years ago, something bad happened to me and i almost don't know myself at the time.

i felt lose, confuses and keep questioning myself what is happening to me at the time. it was the scariest feeling i've ever feel i guess. and the therapist is the doctor of my mental disease.

   honestly, it's not a doctor to me it's a nightmare, a monster torturing me with the truth. sometimes i don't like to know about the truth behind everything because i know truth hurts so much.

so this time, i feel so terrified to see the therapist for the second time again. i don't want to know the truth behind this pain. but i also don't want to spend my life crying without knowing the reason right?

   so i have to see a therapist.

"oh you again jisoo?" he asked as soon as i walked inside his room. i nodded my head, forcing a smile and took a seat in front of him.

   this room, this scent, this situation kinda remind me of the incident 2 years ago.

doctor dong, who is my personal therapist looking at me with his brightest look ever. his face is calming but not his words. i hate his voice telling me a truth so much.

   "i'm here because... i'm not feeling well nowadays." i began to open my mouth, bitting my lower lips showing my nervousness. doctor dong moved closer to me.

"what feel? your mental illness coming back?"

   i hate that question but i had to admit it.

"yes... but it's kinda different from before." i answered, try to avoid his scariest look. doctor dong stood up, asking me to lay down on the cozy chair.

   i did.

he turned off the light, only turning on the desk light beside me but it doesn't enough to light the whole room.

   this feeling.

   i'm having it again.

"close your eyes, empty your mind and find a moment to calm down. don't let anything distract you." i did what he asked.

   i removed all the things in my head i've ever had before, fully emptying my mind.

and that's the time when the vision pop out in my mind.

〰

"chu don't go too far!" he shouted, made me stopped running and chuckled from afar. he created a bright smile on his face and started to run towards me.