red rose ┊ todobakudeku

There's No Point

Days turned into weeks.

Weeks turned into months.

Izuku felt trapped in this spacious building, and the smell of antiseptic started to numb his senses. For four months, swarms of doctors and nurses entered his room everyday to check up on him. He was obviously in a much better state; physically so. He couldn't believe his own ears when he heard that he was paralyzed forever. The poor teenager's dreams and hopes shattered in an instant.

Katsuki tried to visit him every day. He was Izuku's most frequent visitor, and the two had built a great friendship in all that time.

It was another day when Katsuki could see Izuku again. It was summer outside, so once he reached the hospital a cool blast of air hit his face.

"Haaah," he sighs, checking into the hospital under his name. His face looked like he was grumpy, but inside he felt excited to see Izuku after a few days.

"Here again?" The lady behind the counter asks. She had short brown hair and seemed to be in her mid 40s. She gave the teen a nice smile, but he just huffed.

"Yeah, sure." He drops the pen next to her and makes his way to Izuku's room.

Knocking on the metal door softly before entering, the hospital room was painted with a bright yellow-orange from the sunset. The disabled boy was looking out at the scenery outside from his bed smiling.

"Beautiful isn't it, Kacchan?" His voice cracked, as if he was about to cry.

"...Yeah, it is." The atmosphere felt calm yet melancholy. Katsuki stepped closer towards his bed, and then sat down on the stool next to it.

Silence exchanged between them as the sun slowly set.

"Kacchan?" Izuku turned his head towards his childhood friend.

"Hm?"

"..Can I still become a hero?"

Katsuki paused for a minute. He wasn't sure what to say to that.

"Well—"

"I knew it," The greenette cut him off. "I knew there was no point. But all those memories I've had before this, they were lovely; I had such a fun time."

The blonde' s face was written with 'worry' all over. "Hey.. what are you trying to get at..?"

Izuku opened his mouth to talk, but then shut it.

"Deku?"

"What I'm trying to say his," he spoke up with a sudden burst of confidence— "I love you, Kacchan. My life was a living hell at this hospital, but you were there to make it easier. We had many great conversations, and doing things like sneaking into my room at night to comfort me. But.." he averts his gaze down to the floor.

"I'm really a Deku now. I'm useless, and I can't walk. The thought of staying in this hospital bed— or a wheelchair, for the rest of my life, terrifies me. I'm terrified right now. I haven't gotten a good night's sleep by myself. And it's a sign, Kacchan, it's a sign. Do you know what this means?" He clasps his hands on Katsuki's, with a soft smile on his face.

Katsuki gulped, still not sure where he was getting at. He shook his head, putting his hand on top of Izuku's icy one.

Izuku tried to turn his head (he can't really move his torso), and pointed behind him.

"See that bag with the liquid in it? I want you to turn the handle connected to it clockwise."

"What? Why?" Katsuki looked slightly shocked. He stood up from his stool, assuming he needed a bigger dose of whatever was there.

"Just because I'm paralyzed from the waist down doesn't mean I don't feel pain. My back makes it feel like I get stabbed. And my ribs.." He shakes his head. "Anyway, it's morphine."

"Do I need to call a nurse over here?" the older panicked.

"No, no." Izuku laughed weakly, tearing up.

"I don't.. belong here. In one point in life, you find yourself soaring above everyone and succeeding. But then something terrible happens— but you get up and try again. And again. And again. It's a repeated cycle, although for some, the cycle stops. I'm part of the 'some' people. My life's hit a low. The only choice I can make is to escape it."

"Deku—"

"I want to kill myself. Painlessly. And not alone. Kacchan, you're here for a reason aren't you? Do you love me too?"

"Of course I love you, Deku, but you- you can't just say those things! What about me? Your mom? Your friends? You're going to leave everyone who loves you!" He yelled, his face slowly turning red.

"This is my choice to make, not yours. Please calm down Kacchan."

The blonde took a few deep breaths, recollecting himself.

"...Remember when we always played house? I was always the mom and you were the dad," Izuku attempted to giggle.

"Yeah.." Katsuki couldn't help but smile at the memory. He and his friends forced Izuku to be the woman of the 'house'. He didn't seem to mind it though.

"Think of this as.. doing a huge favor for your 'wife'. You're going to become an adult.. and have kids with that special someone.."

"But you are my special someone! I want to have kids with only you!" Katsuki snapped, his eyes feeling hot and watery. He only earned another giggle from Izuku, who was already having tears stream down his face. Yet he had a small blush on his cheeks. He felt genuinely happy.

"Don't be stupid Kacchan, that's impossible." Izuku's heart ached, and now he couldn't bare to look at Katsuki.

"Maybe in a different life."

Question: should Katsuki give him an overdose? (Will anyone even answer this?)
A/N

Hi guys. How are you? We're about to have a snowstorm and I'm super excited! Updates may or may not be frequent, sorry. I didn't have anything to do today so.. yup.