Distorted Days, Stolen Sanity ||Discontinued

Chapter One

"Just breath, Alex." Jake's soft voice came through the receiver of my phone as it sat lightly against the duvet. I sat up from my hanging position over the edge of the bed and wrung my hands.

"He may hear me if I breathe," I said quietly, eyes darting around my dark, quiet room.

"He's in jail for life, Alex."

"He could've escaped."

"No, he couldn't have." I heard the calmness in his voice, along with the nervous edge that always surfaced the more I freaked out. I took a quiet, deep breath.

I knew Jake actually cared about me, and he wanted me to be okay. Everything that I heard and saw, he knew about, and I knew it scared him as much as it did myself. We both knew, although that it was never spoken of, that all this wasn't normal, and it was going tyo drive both of us crazy.

"Phillip - Fred - whatever you want to call him. He's out to gte me. Oh, my god. What was that?"

"Probably the wind, Alex. It's stormy out."

"Oh, great. A perfect time for him to kill me. Maybe put a kite with a key in my hand. I'll get zapped to death." I was visibly shaking by now, my whole body trembling with fear and anxiety. As i inhaled, it seemed to get caught in my throat, not quite reaching my lungs. I coughed as another shiver made it's way down my spine. It's okay, I whispered to myself so Jake wouldn't hear, but a voice in my head yelled back, No, it's not.

"Alex," Jake said, his voice more on edge. It was lamost two in the morning. He was probably tired and scared for my sake. "Please."

"Go to bed." I didn't recognize my voice. It sounded low, monotone. It was nothing like myself. What was happening?

"Not leaving you like this." I heard him stilfle a yawn.

"I'm fine." I stared at the wall, then smiled as if he could see me, and that would make him believe I'm okay.

"Call me if you need anything. My ringer is on."

"Okay. Sleep well, babe."

"And you," he yawned again, "Try and get some sleep."

"Of course." I disconnected and locked my phone, the soft glow it made diasppearing. The room was dark.

Outside, the wind howled and hooted, rustling the trees. It sounded like the world was having a war with itself. Who could uproot a tee first? The wind, or the rain? Or were they a tag team; two orces working together against the trees, the people, me? Maybe the whole world was out to get me, maybe Fred sent the wind and rain gods after me to uproot a tree and have it fall on my room so I would die, and it wouldn't be his fault. Or so it seemed. Alex, that's crazy. Stop being crazy.

I looked out the window. Rain hit the glass with force, drops sliding down the window and gathering at the bottom, in a little pool of defeat. I wanted to do the same. I slid under my coversn and pulled it up to my chin, tucked my hands under my body and loosened up my tense limbs as best as I could, trying to force myself to melt away into the bed.

                                                                   ~~~~~~~

I watched the sun rise. At five in the morning, my teary eyes watched the sun illuminate the darkened world, shinning with all its might through the grey clouds. The damage from the storm was brutal: there were branches on the ground, trees broken and laying on their side on the very wet grass. There were pools of rain water every where: in the grass, on the sidewalks. The little stream by my house had turned into somewhat of a river overnight, its banks windened as water lapped at the new tide height. But I was still here. The universe had failed to destroy me yet again.

My hands still shook as I gripped my covers as if it would prevent me from being stolen from the warmth of my bed. My phone pinged beside me, making me jump and nearly fall ofout my bed. Jake. He had school today.

how r u?

shakey and tired , I answered. I slid my ohone under my pillow and threw the covers off, then slung my fet over the edge of my bed, easing them onto the floor. It was a bit easier to function when it wasn't dark outside.

I walked slowly into the kitchen, the pitter-patter of my own feet having a tendency to frighten me. I grabbed the knife I purposely placed in the drawer right when you walk into ther kitchen and continued through the tiled room, looking for any notes mum might have lft after she came home from work last night.

She works nights now, because she has therapy while Holly is in school, then Holly does after school. Then, she held Holly with her homework. We eat dinner, then she goes to work until midnight or so. OF course, I'm always up at that hour, but she doesn't know. My mum thinks I'm fine. Not because she's oblivious, but because that's what I tell her. Why make her pay for another person's sessions? I'm not crazy or anything, I just think weird things sometimes.

There was no note in the kitchen, where she usually leaves it, so I grabbed a box of GoldFish and creeped back to my room, careful not to wake anyone too early before they have to waken for school. I eased my door shut and turned my lamp on, then took my phone back out. Have a good day, babe. Much love x I sent to Jake before slipping my phone away again. It buzzed under my pillow, but I ignored it. I reached between my matress and grabbed my little notebook, pen clipped to the cover. I opened to a fresh page and began to write.

Dear This Little Notebook,

It stormed last night. I think the universe is out to get me. I swear I saw Fred's face in the clouds. Maybe he sent the storm for me. I freaked out a lot last night. I didn't sleep, and I cried way too much. I shook all night and watched the sun rise through the grey clouds. I wanted to tell someone, but it was too dark. I called Jake and we talked for three hours. . . he tried to calm me down but I was so scared. I knew he was lying. He went to bed at two, and has college this morning. I feel awful.

Am I crazy, little book? No, I'm not. I just think strange things, that is all. Maybe I have slight PTSD, but nothing more. It's reasonable. I know it is. It's annoying when Jake doesn't believe that I see Fred in the clouds, or in the grass. I know he's there, somehow and someway. Maybe he sleeps under my bed sometimes.

I forgot to say. Last night's attack was brutal. I think it was the wind and raim against the Earth this time around. There are trees snapped in half, and branches everywhere. The wind and rain won on that force. There are puddles in the grass and on the sidewalks, but no mudslides. The Earth held it's ground, I suppose. The little stream by my house has now turned into a river, though. The banks have expanded. It carres a stronger current, now. I'm not quite sure who that counts as a win for, but I do believe that the main goal was not achieved. No trees fell on my house. I am alive, and my dwelling is. Thre wind and rain won, for sure. I wonder who will win the next, and if Fred will be in the clouds or grass or the howling wind. Or if I will be killed and the golden gates of victory will open.

~Alex, still scared