Puzzle of fate

chapter 12.12

  Xavier pov

Just talking about my darling claire
Almost makes me want to break down.

But I decide to stay strong.
I have not gotten over Claire yet but I am determined today to let everything out and have a fresh begining with my lovely wife, Zar.

' I wanted to have a normal life with
Claire. I mean, she was too innocent for the world I lived in.
For Claire, I decided to  to quit the mafia bussiness and live a normal life with her.
You know, like the way normal people do'.

' so one day, I told the members my descision. They hesitated a bit but still agreed  to let me out but only if I swear an oath to them never to disclose their activities.'

' I  accepted their conditions so we had an agreement that, they will not interfere in my life as long as I keep their secret save.'

'when my dad discovered about this, he was really mad and told me to reverse my descision but I refused to listen to him'

' He even told me that I should not trust my ex-fellow mafias but I did not mind him.
I did not have a really good relationship with him at that time, I did not trust him enough to believe what he told me.'

    ' Zar...Zarie.. I ....I shou..ld have listened to my dad. He was right. Those people could not be trusted'

I have being trying very hard not to break down in front of Zarie but right now, as the activities of that night begins to hit me with full force, I let the dam break and the tears begin to flow like a damn river.

Zarie just hugs me, indirectly telling me she is here for me.
  I do not expect her to say anything because I told her not to so right now, her kind gestures are the ones encouraging me to continue.

I continue after I have calmed down a bit.

' one night, I planned to propose to Claire, and that is the cursed night I will never erase from my memories. That was the night I lost her forever.' I say as a alone tear escapes from my right eye but I immediately wipe it away and continue with my story.

' I took her to a restaurant and after we had finished eating in the private restaurant I booked for that night, knelt on one knee and proposed to her.

  I saw how her eyes sparkled at that moment she accepted my proposal with tears in her eyes but as I was about to slip the ring on her finger, I saw a pained look in her eyes and before I could ask what was wrong, she fell on me.

When she fell on me, I saw a bullet hole at her back and her dress was soaked in blood.
  I felt so disarrayed and empty at that moment.

I managed to shouted for help and the hotel staffs immediately gathered there, since we were their only customers for that night.
  They all looked as shocked as I was.' I say to Zarie.

Pools of tears which I did not even know I was capable of releasing continued to fall as I continue to tell Zaire about how I lost my first love.

I am not even trying to wipe or stop the tears anymore.
It hurts so much, recounting the events of that night.

Zarie just keeps on rubbing my arm, encouraging me to go on.

' An ambulance arrived within some minutes, hours, seconds, hell I do not even know because at that time, calculating minutes were the least of my problems.
and I think it was one of the people who called.'

' The paramedics immediately carried Claire on a stretcher to the ambulance and I followed them and stayed at the back with her and a doctor who was already in.'