Live Or Love

I just need to let it out

Hi guys!

Its your author Zichan. How are you guys doing?

I hope y'all are doing fine.

Well, i don't know where to start but i have something to say and its been bugging me lately, so here we go.

I've been encountering problems updating my story because of several factors and that makes me super sad.

First, i go to work. Whether i like it or not i should. Its one of the biggest factor why. I know it may sound a lame excuse but i love writing so much. Ever since i was a little girl i would scribble over a piece of paper.

That's why i created this wonderful story. I'm still new and i do not have any experience per se but i wanted to try it atleast. I want to share it to everyone. This story is like my baby i should give birth to.

At first, i don't know if i should do it but my beautiful mind tell me plus with the help of my friends ofcourse, lol. It was tailored as fan fiction for BTS. As you can tell, i am an ARMY.

*shoutouts to all armys out there*

They have helped me look into the beauty of this wicked world. God made them an instrument so they could help everyone who's been suffering and having a tough time. Their music does literally can heal any wound.

So i was listening to their music and a simple thought came to me, thus this fan fiction was created after.

Chapter by chapter i wrote but the time is not enough. I don't like writing when it is half-thought, hurried or forced. I love writing when i thoroughly check every details. I cannot be satisfied if i write a chapter so fast.

I always ask for your forgiveness since i can't update as fast like the others. I do have the flow in my mind but sometimes i can't put it in to words.

I can say that i get writer's block. Wow! Such deep word i shouldn't be claiming. I hate it. The second reason why i always update so late. Like i would squeeze my brains but nothings coming out. I've been reading a lot of tips on how to avoid it and i don't know if i am doing it right.

Third, i'm not good at phrasing things. I would say its very boring of me when explaining or expressing someone's emotion. I still need to work on that. Hopefully i can overcome it through time. Once again i am finding myself envy of others which i should not be but i can't help it.

Fourth and the final reason, since i've said that i can get boring it does gets on my nerves. I'm having doubts with my own story. I always ask myself if there's anyone out there who find it interesting or exciting. Look, i'm afraid that no one will like it because its too boring.

I know i shouldn't think of it this way but i'm having two thoughts if i still want to continue writing this story.

Not because i want attention from people. For me its like a reflection of my own life. Is this how i act in reality? Is that why people don't like me in real life?

I just wanted to let this out hoping that someone out there can listen to me, relate to me, even connect to me. Am i the only person having this bad thoughts?

I apologize once again for being  dumb and lame. I hope you all forgive me. I'll think this through and i hope i can come up with a better solution.

Also, i want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who supported my work since Day 1. You guys are such a great help for me and for the story. I'm sorry if i couldn't always make it up to you. Thank you for being such wonderful beings in this cruel world. You all know who you are and i love you very much from the bottom of my heart. <3

Yours truly,
zichan