Your My Only Love(Jungkookxreader)

CHAPTER -5

JUNGKOOK POV

I walked into the room with excitement of seeing new trainees.

Everyone was damn exited V and Jimin who were walking along with me were talking about how good of a sunbae we could be and all. Even I was exited thinking finally I will be able to be called a sunbae .

Jimin turned towards me as I was left behind and told me on of the new trainee has been staring at me and he was teasing me that I already took one of the girls heart.

I turned around to look who it was and I was shocked ,stunt , I don't know what to say it's like my whole world turned upside down.

Is it Y/N , it's her . OMG what is she doing here.

Am I seeing day dreams or something it's really her .I ......... I feel like going closer to her and giving her a tight hug.

My heart is aching ............ She really is here.

My heart it's beating so fast like it used to , after a long time.

Her face, eyes, she became more prettier.
I just feel like hugging her soooo much.......... wanna be near to her , next to her . I just wanna be with her again.

No no Jungkook what are you thinking , it's not fair to her ...... I can't let her suffer more . I can't believe she waited for me 5 years and now she is here to see me , she never wanted this. Am I doing this to her. Am I changing her goals. If she stays here then her life could be ruined by me .... No I can't let that happen.

Wait is her eyes watering ?
She is crying ? What should I do ?

She came towards me and called my name.

It's so beautiful hearing my name from her mouth after so long , it feels so right.

But what should I do .

I should try to keep myself calm cause I can't hurt  her again.

I can't believe I am going to say this to Her......

With all my efforts I replied to her "YES,  Do I know you?".

I said it....

I asked her that does she know me......

I know I am literally killing her from inside .....

But this hurt was necessary to keep her safe. My heart it ached so much that I felt like I was comiting suicide .

She asked me again and again do I remember her but all I could do was hurt her every time she asked me that with a cold no.

I tried my hardest to not let her see my fight within myself.

Finally I broke her down and she left crying.

I felt like I should go after her ad console her,be with her, hug her tight and say how  much I missed her and longed for her.

But all I could do was stand there fighting to myself and saying a millionth sorry inside my head.

After she left I saw Rose run after her and I knew she is gonna be fine as long as Rose is with her.

After all Rose was the one who promised me that she will look after her when I will be gone.

I wanted to cry out loud so much but couldn't as all the members and staff were there looking at me , to give an explaination .

When rest of the members was walking towards me to ask me what was going on .

V came from between them and told me that we have to talk and pulled me to the changing room .

Leaving the rest of the group dumbfounded.

At the Changing Room.

V pulled me in and locked the door behind.

He began with the obvious question" Jungkook what was happening there , who was that girl and why was she crying after seeing you".

I replied with a casual response "I already told I don't know, then why are you asking me the same question".

"Jungkook,  Do you think you can fool me ? I saw your fist clenching when you were talking to her, as if your beating yourself .V looked at me with a intimidating  face.

"I ..................... I don't know what your saying ok". I said looking away.

"Then why are you looking away Jungkook ? Just speak to me , I am already keeping your secrete with me then why don't you open up ? We know each other for 5 years and we live like we are a family so why do you keep putting yourself in pain?"V looked at me with a concern look.

I finally give in as he was also keeping my secrete till now and he has been helping me when I get depressed thinking about you.

"Hyung, the girl who cried over there after seeing me ...................I .....know her........ and she is not a fan or anything like that...................................she ......... is the girl that I loved and missed all these years". I said keeping my head down as I was in the verge of breaking down."

After hearing that V just came towards me and hugged me.

"Jungkook-aha why did you do that to her if you love her so much and for the past 5 years all I see was you missing her after everyone of our concerts and at almost most of the nights you waking up crying the why?" He asked pulling me up making me stand facing him.

"You don't understand hyung the more she be close to me the more she will get hurt. This entertainment industry is harsh and if I be close to her or accept her as much as I want to, she will be torn into parts. Her career will be destroyed and as well as her life. I ........... I just can't hurt her more. You don't know hyung this was not her wish she just wanted to be a music teacher. Because of me she will get hurt and I can't see her hurt.........
She doesn't deserve this at all............". I said while my eyes already filled in tears.

"But what your doing now is hurting her even more. Didn't you see her cry". V.

"This pain is only for now after sometime it will be fine and she deserve someone worthy of her love , someone who is willing to be with her not someone who is hurting her".Jungkook.

"Jungkook she waited for you for 5 years , if she wanted she could have found other people and move on with her life but instead she kept waiting for her".V.

"Hyung  that's what I am saying I want her not to love me cause loving me will hurt her bad and I don't want that . For keeping her away from me I am willing to be cold and mean , for her I am willing to do anything to keep her safe". Jungkook.

"Jungkook is being cold the only option you could be her friend or something". V.

"Do you really think hyung we both can stay being friends?".Jungkook.

"But Jungkook your hurting yourself and her". V.

"I don't care if that's the price I have to pay to keep her safe then it's fine with me". Jungkook.

"Jungkook do whatever you want but your just hurting you and her ultimately. ......."

With that said we walked out of the room leaving me alone .

I locked the door and  crashed to the floor and cried and cried as much I could .................

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