Through Time and Space: A Love Story

Chapter Ten: Torn Apart

Ash never had this much trouble sleeping before in her life. She couldn't stop replaying the events of the day in her head. The despair and jealousy she felt were overwhelming. Maeve was pregnant. Why would she let this happen? Didn't she love Ash? All the hard work she'd spent over the years had all gone to waste. She never would have imagined that the girl of her dreams would betray her like this. As if she didn't deserve it, anyways. This was Ash's fault. She shouldn't have even considered giving Helen a second chance. It should have been an immediate rejection. Instead, she acted like an idiot and hurt her best friend. Because of it, Maeve fell in love with someone else and got herself knocked up. There was no way in hell Ash would ever forgive her for this. Ten years of hard work and friendship all down the drain. She always knew Maeve was fond of blades; Ash just never imagine that she would be stabbed in the back by one.
Giving up on trying to sleep, Ash got out of bed and dressed herself. She needed some kind of escape from reality. She left her house and headed to the nearest tavern, The Dragon's Tooth. She took a seat at the counter and ordered a drink. She drained the first glass immediately and ordered another. Then another. Ash was on her fourth one when Tyra came in and joined her.
"I take it your date didn't go as planned?" she asked.
"No, it didn't," Ash growled. "Why the fuck do you care so much?" Tyra looked visibly upset by Ash's harsh reaction.
"I'm well aware you and I haven't always gotten along ever since I betrayed the Magistrate, but I was rooting for you the whole time," she said. "I really hoped you two would work out. She's a fool to turn you down." Tyra's kind words hurt a little. They reminded Ash of the past, when they had nearly fallen in love. When Tyra fled the Magistrate without explanation, Ash felt as if she had been betrayed as well. She made her feel like she wasn't good enough. She recalled the spiraling depression she experienced during that time. It wasn't as bad as what she felt after losing Maeve, but it still hurt nonetheless. When she lost Tyra, Helen came along and comforted Ash. That was when she fell in love the first time. Helen was Ash's first.
Helen. That bitch was responsible for this mess. Being apart for so many years made Ash forget she was a child of Aphrodite. She could persuade anyone she wanted into dating her. That was how Ash had fallen for her bullshit. Then she remembered her conversation with Aphrodite herself. She had said that there would still be many challenges ahead. Was Aphrodite using her daughter to test Ash? That seemed like a twisted thing to do.
Before she could respond to Tyra, one of Lian's messengers came bursting into the tavern.
"Lady Ash! I bring urgent news!" he said frantically. The sudden arrival startled Ash.
"What is it? Speak!" she demanded.
"It's Maeve," he said breathing heavily. "She was brought in after being seen jumping from a cliff at Jaguar Falls. She's unresponsive."
"WHAT?!" Ash shouted. She quickly paid for her drinks and ran out with Tyra and the messenger. The three of them raced back to House Aico. Ash was terrified of what she'd come to. Maeve had attempted suicide yet again because of her. But this time, she may have been successful. That scared Ash the most. They burst through the doors and rushed all the way to the infirmary. Seris, Furia, and Pepper were crying, but Pip's face was like stone.
"You're lucky she's alive," he said coldly. "This whole thing between you two is getting ridiculous. What even happened this time?"
"I....I felt betrayed," Ash said timidly, her voice quivering. "She told me she was pregnant and I flipped. I'd never been so hurt in my life."
"She told you on the date?!" Furia exclaimed. "Why would she do that? She knew that date was special!"
"That isn't important," Ash said. "Who the hell brought her here?"
"I did," a woman's voice said. An angel materialized out of nowhere. "I saw her jump and caught her. You're all very lucky I happened to be doing my rounds on the roses there."
"Who the hell are you?" Ash asked.
"My name is Sylvia. I'm a servant of Demeter, goddess of the harvest," she told them. "I was tasked with keeping an eye on the vegetation and wildlife at Jaguar Falls. That girl is certainly foolish for trying to take her life when she's expecting."
"You don't say," Pip grumbled.
"With that said, I'll be on my way. It appears you all have some personal issues to work out, and I don't want to be in the middle of it," the angel said before making an exit. Ash was fighting back tears. She couldn't stand the thought of Maeve dying. Her attempt at committing suicide the second time made Ash feel like shit. More than she had previously. Then Jenos took her side, his concerned expression making Ash feel even worse. Unable to handle the guilt, Ash left the infirmary. She wasn't needed there and she knew it.
Ash found the dojo she used to train in for hours on end. She'd spent so much time here preparing herself to be the best soldier ever. In the back was a closet they stored cinder blocks in for martial arts practice. It had been restocked recently, which was comforting to Ash. She dragged out several stacks that were fifteen feet high. She set up block after block, shattering them like they were fragile glass. As she did, she cried more and more, the pain of Maeve's rejection and suicide attempt overwhelming her. Eventually, she couldn't stand up anymore. She fell to the floor bawling. Ash had never hated herself so much. Times like this reminded her she wasn't untouchable. She was still a vulnerable human with feelings. The name "War Machine" was just that: a title. Nothing more. Even though Ash wished she was a machine. She'd never have to deal with emotions. She wouldn't have fallen in love. She wouldn't have gotten jealous or angry and hurt Maeve.
Ash had been crying too hard to notice Makoa sitting next to her until he spoke.
"Sometimes, even the strongest soldiers have to show weakness. It's the only way to know their humanity hasn't faded," he said. Ash stopped crying and looked up at him.
"What are you talking about?" she asked between sniffles.
"I'm referring to the remorse you feel. It's a sign you're still human. You may call yourself a machine, but you should appreciate the gift of life the gods blessed you with," he told her. "I understand your reluctance to do so, but you have to understand that nothing will ever be simple if you make things complicated. You're hurting because you blame yourself for showing weakness as if it's a sin. It isn't a bad thing. You may be 30, but you're still young and reckless. You have so much to learn before you can find success."
"It doesn't help that I was never taught anything. I was given to the Magistrate by my parents at a young age. Their expectations were ludicrous, but they became my reality," she told him bitterly.
"And what does that mean for you?" Makoa asked.
"It means I learned how to be a soldier before I could learn to be myself. I don't know how to be human. I don't understand love or emotions. All I've ever known is fighting and bloodshed," she said.
"Does that justify not taking any opportunities to learn how to discover yourself?"
"No, it doesn't. But I've been too afraid to try," she admitted. "I just want to be good enough. But it seems I can't do that now that she's carrying his child."
"And what makes you think that?" he inquired.
"I'm not worth her time. I'm not worth anyone's time. I'm nothing. I hurt her twice. Both times, she's tried taking her life. And besides, Jenos is everything I can't be. So why bother trying if he's already good enough for her?"
"Because she still loves you," Furia said, entering the room. "I raised Maeve for 12 years. No one knows her like I do. She's hiding her feelings from you because she doesn't want to complicate things further. You were the first person she wanted to tell about her pregnancy. I was the one who tested her and she was excited about it. But then she became afraid of hurting you. I could see it in her eyes. She was having an internal battle because she loves you as much as she loves Jenos. She's not sure how to tell you both, so when she got the news, she felt as if she had to suppress her feelings for the sake of her child. That doesn't mean she doesn't still love you. She's just confused. This is all new for her as well as it is you. You're both taking things too fast and it's doing more harm than good."
Ash couldn't help but feel that Furia was right. All of this drama had happened in only two months. They had been acting ridiculous this whole time. Ash felt bad all over again, not realizing she had been so irrational.
"I really hope you understand that because you two need to apologize," Furia said sternly. She turned around and gestured behind her. Maeve timidly stepped out and waved at Ash. Ash's heart dropped at the sight of her. She wanted to cry again and hide from Maeve. She could hardly stand to face her knowing how much pain she'd caused. But she knew she had to do the right thing. She stood up, but didn't have the strength to walk towards her. So she just stood there looking in the eyes of her best friend. To her surprise, Maeve was the first to speak.
"I shouldn't have ruined your surprise for me. I should have enjoyed it while I had the opportunity because you spent so much time working on that. You set up the kind of date I had always dreamed of and I didn't show you any appreciation. I let my fear get in the way, and I'm so sorry for that." Maeve looked as if she were trying her hardest not to cry herself, which made Ash feel the urge to hug her and protect her.
"And I shouldn't have snapped at you. I know you're excited about having a kid, and I know you're in love with Jenos. You deserve to be happy. I'll be there to support you the whole way. You're my best friend, after all." Ash gave her a half smile in hopes of appearing happy. "I'm sorry for losing my temper on you. You deserve better than that. So from now on, I'll be as supportive as I can. You need your best friend. But we're just not meant to be. You should focus on him. I'll just do my own thing." Maeve looked unhappy with Ash's apology and she wasn't sure why. That's when Maeve surprised her yet again. She quickly stepped forward and grabbed Ash's shirt collar, standing up on her toes to kiss her.
"That won't be happening any time soon," she said smiling.
"What are you talking about?" Ash asked, puzzled. "I'm trying to avoid interfering with your relationship." Maeve looked distressed, as if she were considering her next words carefully.
"I understand why you want to," Maeve said. "I may be carrying his child, but that doesn't change the fact that you're my first love. You've been there for me for so long. I'm almost as close to you as I am Furia. I can't keep running away from my problems or burying my emotions just to be someone I'm not. Leaving you in the dust just because I got pregnant isn't fair. You deserve better than that. You deserve the truth. I still love you, Ash. No matter how hard I try, that will never change. I can't pick one of you because it wouldn't be fair. Choosing between two people I love is wrong. I don't want to make anymore mistakes because I can't lose you." She reached into her purse and pulled out a small black box. When she opened it, there was a shiny silver ring with a ruby in it: Ash's birth stone. "I stole this a long time ago. I found it in one of the Magistrate's loyal houses along with my magic coat. I've held onto it ever since, hoping I'd find some sort of use for it." She looked directly into Ash's eyes, her own sparkling with love and affection. "I think I finally found out what it's useful for. Ashley Michelle Rhodes....will you marry me?"