MURDER - taekook short

The Note

Hi.

I don't know why I'm saying hi.

You can't read this now anyway.

So, when we were twelve, we met.

We were both happy kids.

Our parents were worried about us, about our labels, so they sent us to group therapy once a week.

It was for kids like us, kids who had the same labels. Labels like suicide, murder, overdose, manslaughter, etcetera, etcetera.

Outside of that, we didn't tell anyone.

The others were messed up kids, sad, and their futures were predictable.

Us? Our endings were not predictable.

Well, maybe mine. But not once I met you.

You were beautiful.

After years, I began to look at you differently.

And I began to fall.

When we had both turned sixteen, we made a pact.

You and I were sick of people looking at us funny.

We were sick of the worry, and the knowing looks.

We knew that the fates were wise.

They never chose wrong.

But we were convinced that with us, they did.

So, late on a breezy April night, we hid in your room, a lamp trained on your arm in the dark, a needle in my hand.

    "Do it," You had told me. I was reluctant. I didn't want to hurt you. "Go on."

I lowered the needle.

I remember telling you that your pain tolerance was high.

I remember you telling me it wasn't, but you were good at pretending.

I said, 'that's what pain tolerance is, isn't it?'

See, you and I agreed that if we had chosen the easier method of cutting away our labels, we might prove them to be true.

That is a dangerous path, and, you didn't know it then, but I was scared that I would slip.

But when I was done, you took the needle from my hands, and you started wiping down my wrist with disinfectant.

    "Wait," I said. "Let me look."

You held out your arm.

MURDER, it read. But straight through the middle of the word, there was a line that I had inked in.

No.

You were not to die by murder.

No.

I was not to die by suicide.

The fates were wrong, and we rebelled.

So after that, you and I got different looks.

Confusion. Worry. Disgust. Contempt. Admiration.

Admiration, Jungkook. They admired us.

Because our fate was ours. It belonged to us, just us.

Later that year, I kissed you.

We were sitting on the bank, and the sun hit your face, and you were laughing as you leaned back over the water, your hands grasping the fence that kept you steady.