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Dean Winchester~how could you?

"Now Y/n your gonna feel a bit of pressure ok," I nod my head as I grab Sammy's hand. I can't believe I was getting rid of my baby. Dean and I were gonna become parents, but this wasn't the life for a hunter. And I know your probably thinking why didn't you just adopt? Will I know I wouldn't be able to give my baby away with he or she thinking I didn't love him or her.

I suck in a breath, there was a lot of pressure, Sammy gives me a reassuring squeeze. I didn't talk to dean about this he didn't even know I was pregnant. I've been hiding it for 4 weeks.
I would have been 10 weeks today, but I just couldn't bear it. I never got a chance to tell Dean. I didn't want to see his reaction.

"Ok all done". The doctor sits the bloody sheers on a tray next to me, I look at the blood dripping down the metal tool and my chin starts shaking.(it happens when I'm about to cry) tears burst down my eyes. Sam wraps me into a hug and starts rubbing my back.

"I can't believe I did it Sammy.I-I killed my baby," I sob. I'd never thought the guilt would be this bad. It was unbelievable and unbearable. The car ride back to the bunker was so quiet the small static on the radio was heard. Looking out the window as we pulled into the bunkers driveway I saw the impala, and my heart dropped.

Dean was out with Cas somewhere on a hunt, Sam and I said that we were going to meet up with one of the victims from a recent hunt, knowing that we were actually going to an abortion clinic. Sammy comes to my side and opens the door. "Can you walk?" I give him a small nod and stand up.

I wince, there was a amount of pain in my stomach but it was bearable. "You want me to carry you?"

"No, no Sammy I'm fine, besides we don't need Dean asking questions," Stepping inside the bunker and instantly wanting to run to the room Dean and I shared, I knew that wouldn't be possible because to get to that room I would have to indeed pass Dean.

"Hey sweetheart," dean kisses my temple and I give him a small smile, I see Cas and say " hi Cas," he gives me a look. And it's not just the regular look Cas gives people it's like he's listening for something. "Y/n?" He asks strangely.

"Yes," I say quietly

"Why can't I hear a heartbeat?" My body got so tensed, he knew. But if he did why didn't he say anything to Dean?

Dean chuckles, "Cas what's going on with you today? First the hunt and now this, c'mon no more jokes." Dean pats his shoulder but Cas refuses to let this go.

"No Dean I mean there was a heartbeat in Y/n's stomach. Now it isn't there anymore," Dean looked up from Cas to me. My eyes traveled to Sam who's eyes were as big as soarers looking at Cas to me to Dean. "What's he talking about?" Dean's voice started to sound serious and that wasn't a good sign.

"Um Dean you know Cas is probably off his rockers considering everything that happened in purgatory with you guys," I give him a nervous chuckle. Sam's phone start to ring, he quickly excuses himself and I try to go right alone with him.

"Nope," Dean grabs my arms and pulls me back in front of Cas. "Cas I'm not gonna ask again, what are you talking about?!" I was starting to shake, it was a nervous thing.

"It was a child's heartbeat Dean... there was a child in Y/n,"

"What was, what do you mean was!" My chin and body start shaking violently, he was gonna find out, and he is going to blow his top. I didn't want Cas to be the one to tell him before Cas could get a word out I blurted.

"I had an abortion!" I covered my hand with my mouth, I Hadn't expected it to be that I expected it to be something like 'I had a miscarriage!' Or something.

Dean's grip on my arm loosens. He pulls away and puts his and over his mouth. "Are you- are you serious?" Your tears answered his question. He closes his eyes and punches the wall behind him, causing you and Cas to jump and Sammy to run back into the table area. There was a big hole in the wall.