For Ever. A Definite NO

CHAPTER 1

I woke this morning in a new city,where I was visiting my cousin.
But I was missing home,and him of course,Hosea has been my friend for over 14yrs and my boyfriend for 12 of those years.
I just wanted to hear his voice when I called he didn't pick up, he called later on,i was quick to say"hi love" his reply was a dull"what's up" I thought it strange,but went on to say" I'm missing you so much" Hosea said" how can you miss me,when the feelings is no longer there" to say I was shocked was an understatement,but I decided he was just joking around,so I said" what does that mean?" He replied" it's pretty clear, the love is no longer there, why should you be missing me?" It was as if I just received a blow to my guts, I felt my eyes begin to sting ,and I tried to hold my tears back asking again for Hosea to help me understand what is happening at the moment, what is happening to the twelve years of US, what is happening with the boy I met who stood by me,when others abandoned me,the boy who fought his family and friends for me,the boy who was my first kiss,first love , first boyfriend,first everything, I could not understand at all what that boy who is a man today is saying, everyone is waiting to see and hear us taking the next step,which is marriage,all of our friends have taken the step already,but here I was sitting in my shorts and tank top in bed, hearing my boyfriend break me,i wanted to shout at him, to abuse him but I couldn't find my voice,i settled on" please help me out here,come out straight and make me understand,are you breaking up with me?" He was quick to say"yes," I was hurting so much , that I shouted at him" what do you mean by that, after all this year's, even after I asked you last year if you think you can't continue with me after the doctors report,tell me now, you insisted for over a week you are not going anywhere, then now you tell me this" he just laughed it off and said" there's time for everything" I told him" you are a coward for doing this to me while I'm away and on phone" he just said " are you abusing me now because of this?" I said" take it however you want to" he went quite, I had so much going round in circles on my mind but no words coming out, I just was thinking so much of all we have been through,i ended up telling him" thank you for this" he also said" thank you too" I could very much hear the arrogance in his voice as he said those words.
I laid on bed and a tear rolled down quickly followed by another,and another, but in less than 5 minutes it's stopped, I tried to force it out but it refused, I was hurting, my heart, my head, and yet I had no escape route.
I ended up picking my phone and going on Wattpad to read, which took my mind off things for a little while before my battery went off...