Stay With Me (a Tillow/Buffy the Vampire Slayer fanfic)

Goodbyes

Tara's P.O.V.

That night, Buffy crumbled like a wall, no tears, silence was terrible enough. I stroked her head like Willow did to me. Seeing Willow in such pain seemed to make her fall apart, it made my heart break, I had so little time, I wanted that time to myself. In just a few weeks everything seemed to fall apart for me, Willow dying. My chest ached and I seemed to move without purpose, Willow was my purpose. Late one night, the 3rd night, I woke up and turned to Willow. I spoke to her sleeping form,

"Willow. I can't lose you. I need you to stay. I know I can't make you stay, but... do it for me. Please." my voice cracked and my hands trembled as they held hers.

"I'll try." her eyes opened.

"Baby. Oh, Willow. I love you so much." she kissed my forehead.

"I love you to." I was crying but her eyes stayed dry.

"Don't cry Tara, please don't cry." she stroked my hands.

"Why not, you're gonna..... you're gonna.....die." great heaving sobs escaped my lips.

"So what? I'll die." she smiled her little smile, the one she made when she was trying not to laugh.

"Why are you laughing?" she had started to giggle. She shrugged.

"It's just kinda stupid, getting so upset about something that hasn't happened yet." she shrugged again.

"I can't live without you. Don't leave me. I need you." she shook her head.

"You need air water and food, you don't need me. I'l be here. Now go to bed." Willow touched my heart. I turned over and fell asleep with her hands wrapped around my waist.

Dawn's P.O.V.

Willow was falling into a place where we couldn't get her back, she had night mares, painful relapses. Though her condition was getting slightly better, she could walk for a short period of time, we could all tell that she wouldn't last much longer. One night, the 22nd night, Tara woke us up, on Willows request, to speak to Willow.

"Thanks sweetie." she kissed Tara on the cheek, she had called Giles, Xander, and Anya, to come over. Tara pulled us into Willow's room one by one to say goodbye.

"Hey Dawnie." Willow's voice was weak.

"I...thank you, for being my mom, friend, sister." I trembled.

"I love you so much, you are so amazing and a better person than I could ever dream to be." she smiled and kissed my forehead.

"I love you too Dawn, but stay for me, keep Tara company, Buffy too." I nodded, tears streaming down my face. She squeezed my hand and I walked out of the room. I felt a knot of dread at the bottom of my stomach, she was going to die, we had to face the truth, the ugly truth. Buffy entered next, hyperventilating, gripping herself nervously, she was terribly distraught and held onto Tara like a lifeline.

Buffy's P.O.V.

Tara pulled me inside after Dawn, I shook and breathed hard, I couldn't face the truth of this. How could I say goodbye to Willow, I just couldn't, it was too hard. I sat down hard next to Willow's bed, squeezing her hand.

"Hi." she spoke in a feeble whisper. I instantly burst into tears.

"Oh, Buffy! Shhhhhhh. It's alright." she hugged me close.

"I'm scared Willow. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to fight without you. You have always been my rock. Stay.... please." I sobbed heavily into her shoulder.

"Don't be scared. I'm with you, in you, always." she looked into my tearful eyes and seemed to tell me that everything was going to be all right and for a second, a tiny second, I believed her.

"No, it won't be alright!" I answered out loud.

"I can't do this without you, I just can't do it, I can't fight it."tears stained my cheeks as she whispered in my ear,

"You're strong. Take care, thank you for being the best friend I could ever have." She choked, slightly, on the words, and I felt tears dampening her cheek. I sat there hugging Willow, both of us crying. I got up slowly and kissed her on the cheek and walked out the door, looking back at Tara holding a sobbing Willow.

"I'm sorry Will." I whispered softly to myself.

"Goodbye." I choked and wiped my face sloppily. Xander and Dawn embraced me soon as I closed the door behind me. They cried, as well as I did, and rocked back and forth. Giles was called in next. He went in, his eyes tired and he seemed to walk without his usual "smart guy" step.

Giles's P.O.V.

This was goodbye. For real now, Willow would die. I shuddered to think that. 'No Rupert, no.' I cursed myself internally for thinking like that.

"Giles!" Willow wailed.

"What am I gonna do? You always know what to do. Tell me!" She quivered.

"I don't know. I'm sorry." I didn't know what to say. Words failed me. As I hugged her I felt her heart pounding against mine, the heart I knew would soon slow to a dead stop.

"I'm scared. I'm lost." she sobbed.

"Everybody is." I tried to calm her down.

"Thank you Giles. For everything. You've taught me so much about magic. Even more about life. Your like a dad. I love you, Giles." I sighed. My heart seemed to break.

"Me too, Willow. Goodbye." I kissed her forehead and walked out of the room. As I closed the door behind me I felt the tears sting my eyes. I nodded my head at Xander, telling him he was next. He took a deep breath.

"She knows I'm no good at goodbyes." he said, then walked in. I heard Willow sobbing as soon as he closed the door.

Xander's P.O.V.

"Will?" I said softly. She instantly started to sob and she flung herself onto me.

"Shhhhhh.......Its alright. I'm here." I let her snuggle her head in my shoulder.

"No it isn't alright Xander! It's going all wrong! I was supposed to be with you until the end. I just imagined us: Me and Tara, you and Anya, Buffy and her soulmate. I thought we would live in old people homes and talk together in our rocking chairs, reminiscing about our battles. I guess you will do it without me." she wailed. I shook my head.

"No not without you. Your in all of us." I kissed her soaking cheek. She suddenly looked angry,

"No Xander! I'm gonna die! I don't wanna die....." her voice was full of rage and then... soft and weak. I held her rocking her back and forth.

"We'll figure this all out. We'll save you." she shook her head.

"No. Xander stop trying to make things alright, things aren't alright. Stop with the sympathy and just give me..... love. I'll always love you. Will you-" I cut her off.

"Yes, I will. Rest. Goodbye." she tried to grip onto my hand but I looked her in the eyes and it made her let go.

"Goodbye." the word came out of her mouth as barley a whisper, but I heard it, it made my heart break just enough to cry. Buffy lunged at me as soon as I was out the door.

"I heard her say goodbye." she said softly into my ear. Her voice was full of understanding and pain.

"I did too." she said nothing back, she couldn't make words.

Anya's P.O.V.

I was called in after Xander.

"Willow." I spoke stiffly. I was unsure of what to say.

"Anya." her lip wobbled.

"I'm sorry. For being an annoying friend." she shook her head.

"It's part of your character. " she smiled weakly. I shrugged. I suddenly felt sad, a human feeling I found quite stupid. I felt myself hugging Willow tightly, that was something I had never done before. At first she was still and them relaxed and hugged me back. I didn't know what else to say but Willow did.

"Take care of Xander okay? Please." I nodded. Then I left.