The Tears of Faith

Chapter ➋ | Confrontation

CONFRONTATION

EVERYBODY calls him Xander. But I liked calling him Alex. He didn't like it at first but when we got married, he confessed it was his favorite name, at ako lang daw ang may permiso na tawagin siya sa pangalang iyon.

But seeing how his body tensed when I said his name, I don't know if he still does. Or maybe he just didn't like what he heard.

"You're staying," he drawled as he turned slowly. So slow it made me hold my breath in suspense. "After all these years..." Naningkit ang mga mata niya sa akin. "Why? Did you run out of money? Nagsawa ka na ba sa pagiging buhay-dalaga mo kaya ngayon gusto mo nang bumalik at umuwi rito na parang walang nangyari?" He smirked. "You really like rubbing it in my nose, don't you?"

Alex wasn't capable of hurting me physically in the past. But right now, his tongue was like a sword with sharp edges it's making me bleed inside. I couldn't believe he's accusing me unfairly! Pero inisip ko pa ring galit siya kaya niya nasasabi ang mga iyon ngayon. At dapat lang iyon pagkatapos ng ginawa ko sa kanya.

"Alex, hindi ako umalis para gawin iyang binibintang mo. I..."

He slashed his hand in to the empty space to shut me up. And I did. "Don't start explaining now. You're three years too late to make me listen to your crap of an excuse," he gnarled, his face taut and stark.

I felt my throat constrict with tears but I swallowed them down. I needed to make him listen to me. "Alex, just listen to me, please! I'm sorry I left. I'm so sorry! I had no other choice. Pero mali ang iniisip mo. I—"

"Enough!" he shouted and I felt it right on my face. Napahakbang ako palayo sa gulat.

He never shouted, not in front of me. Never on me. He's always calm. Even when he's faced with his business associates, he always had his emotions locked up.

But as I stared wide-eyed at his furious face, I knew I had him at his breaking point. I never thought he'd one day lose his temper. And I made him do it. I turned him into this angry, raging man.

Naramdaman ko ang paggapang ng takot sa dibdib ko. Alam ko kung ano ang daratnan ko oras na bumalik ako rito. I'll be facing their anger. But I never lose hope. I thought I could make him listen. I thought I could talk to him... Who was I kidding?

I've waited in struggle to finally see him again and I never expected, not even in my wildest, hopeful imagination, that Alex would be pleased and ecstatic to see me again. Even if I fooled myself into believing that he will at least feel relieved to see me, I knew he wouldn't be glad to have me back again.

Maiintindihan kaya niya kapag sinabi ko sa kanya ang totoo? Would he even believe me?

As I looked into his eyes, I only saw his rage. No is the answer to that question

Sinubukan kong tingnan siya sa mata. I wanted to show him I wasn't afraid of him, even if the truth was my knees were shaking. I couldn't let him scare me away. "Alex, ako ang asawa mo. Huwag mo sana akong pag-isipan nang masama nang dahil lang sa may nagawa akong isang kasalanan sayo. Kung gusto mo, sasabihin ko sayo ang lahat, ang totoong dahilan kaya kita iniwan, kaya ako umalis noon para maintindihan mo―"

He suddenly closed our distance and grabbed both my arms and I winced as his grip tightened. "Gusto mong maintindihan ko? Ang alin, Faith?!" His eyes narrowed into tiny slits and his voice was full of scorn. "Don't you dare try to make up some lame excuses for what you did, Faith. I know what happened that night. Alam ko kong ano ang ginawa mo. Malinaw na malinaw pa sa isipan ko iyon. You left me without a word, remember?  Not one word, Faith. Did I deserve that from you?" Every syllable of his every word was like a poisoned-tip arrows piercing my heart. Dumaan sa isipan ko ang gabing iyon... kung ano ang ginawa ko. Kung ano ang iniwan ko.