The room that's nothing but Blue

First Day

It's your first day of school. You wake up early and get ready. You're still confused on what you wanna do when your finished with school. Right now you're going to school for business then after possibly psychology. But as it is for almost everyone you dream to be a model or a rockstar. Ever since you were younger you were always told you could be a model and you were the prettiest girl in the room. Of course that makes your head big but it makes you a perfectionist and you're more hard on yourself than others. With grades, your looks naturally and with makeup and how other people see you. So you are really hoping that this new beginning will have everything fall into place for you.

As you walk down the street to your school you look around and see new faces. There's so many people. You walk into class hoping you will see that girl but no luck. You find a seat with no one next to it. As you here the conversation in the room everyone has a accent. Class is about to begin and a guy sits next to you and he gives you a smile. Class goes on and he gives you little smiles. Whenever class ends you both get up and he says " you're new aren't you" you reply with a simple yes. He continues to make conversation with you as you move to your next class. You don't really give interested replies and continue on with your school day. When you start your walk home he finds you again. He says his name is Zac and you tell him your name is Valentina he askes you out for a coffee. You say yes but it somehow just kinda feels wrong. You guys continue to talk. The sun begins to set so you say you have to get going. Whenever you arrive to your apartment you begin to cry. Just a feeling of disappointment and emptiness came over you when you were talking with Zac. "Why am i like this? Why can't i just be normal?" You decide to go out and hopefully feel better. You've never really been clubbing so you decide to go in. You're having a blast. Meeting so many people. Forgetting all about earlier. Then you look up stage and there she is. The girl. She introduces her self and her band as the "OutCasts". She names everyone and her self as Lena. They play covers of your favorite songs. You were a little surprised by some of them cause they aren't that popular. Towards the end Lena smiles at you and waves this gives you that feeling again "is this what liking someone a lot actually feels like?" you think to yourself. You walk out and start heading home with a smile on your face. You here someone yell "wait!" you turn around and see that it's Lena.
"Hey i'm Lena"
"Hello i'm Valentina"
" You just moved in right?"
"Yeah it's amazing here"
"Yeah i've lived here forever but i moved into that apartment last year"
"So you're in a band"
"Yeah i've known them for years"
"That's so cool i've always wanted to play the guitar in a band"
"Maybe sometime you can come over and practice with me"
"Haha yeah that would be awesome"

You guys begin to walk to the apartments

"So is your apartment all set up yet"
"Yeah it's very exciting. Are you going to school?"
"No i'm more here to start my career in music. What about you?"
"Yeah i'm going to school but for what is still kinda unknown. Right now i'm in Business."
"Well that's a good start"
"Yeah that's what i figured"
"You know whenever I saw the movers set your house up I was really excited to see who will live across from me."
"I hope you're not disappointed"
"Not at all"
You chuckle
"A beautiful American girl living across from me and now i actually got to talk to her it's getting better and better"
"You know I was looking for you at school today. I had a pretty rough day. But it's better now"

You smile at each other

"Well this is us. Here's my number. Maybe you can talk to me about it later tonight."
"Okay. Bye."
"See you later"
You enter your apartment with a smile on your face. This is the happiest you felt in a long time. You text Lena just a simple "Hey". Then you get ready for bed. You here a buzz from your phone you run over very happy. It's from Zac. This kinda brings you down. He says that he noticed you being a little off and apologizes if he came off strong. You reply with saying it's okay and say you've just been off lately. You stay up for a reply from Lena but there's nothing. You look out the window to see Lena talking with a girl from her band. Your heart aches at the sight of that. You decided to text Zac to come over. He says he will be right over. When he's here you tell him you really like him and he says he really likes you. Then things happen then he leaves. You look in the mirror and regret your act out of sadness. You don't like him like that and you're disappointed with your self. "What am I going to do now?".

(Whenever Valentina says "why can't i just be normal" she is referring to "normal" as straight but just know that's not what i'm trying to say that being gay is not normal she's just in the denial stage of realizing it. I just wanted to confirm that if you felt any type of way towards that line since i am pansexual my self i would take that a little weirdly.)