Fatal Fantasies

chapter 27

Aura POV

Six months passed as he left me alone with those  emotions which feels like shit. Dad is fine now and he got discharged a few days after that unforgettable incidence . I'm very grateful to God that the bullet lodged a few inches far from his heart.  When Alvin left me on that day on the road, at that moment I saw everything that happened around me with my eyes wide open but,
I couldn't move !
I couldn't speak !
I couldn't think!
I could hear and I could see what his expressions were !They were neutral like nothing happened at that moment he left me as if I was a dead weight on his shoulders and he was happy to get rid of that weight as he walked away from me without even looking at me .

He never came back , not even his shadow showed up within these six months .
Did he never cared for me ?
Did he ever loved me?
I was crazy to consider his trick as love and care !

These days I don't go out more often . I don't hang out with friends like I used to do back . I just go to my college when I need and the remaining days I'll just stay in my room looking at the plaine wall. I don't even visit Eric .  It's her who visits me every other day as she thinks that I am drowning myself into depression .But I think I have made myself strong these days .During the first few months he left me I have hurt myself in the room not allowing anyone to enter into it.

There are night I cried so hard that my heart aches , my body shivers so hard that I shoove my head into my pillow and screams so loud that nobody  hears me . I used to curled up in my bed with my heart pounding as fast as a bee's sting in my stomach and with my trembling hands I used to tuck the blanket under my head into darkness covering every inch of my body to calm down.

Isn't it surreal how do you find yourself in this very moment , this very night after all the days you had to cry into darkness. The muffled screams so no one would have to hear that my heart was breaking and that stinging pain in my stomach was the only thought in my mind .

I want him to come back!
But he never did !
He never returned no matter how much the darkness swallowed my cries. Do anyone realise how much courage it takes to move on in your life when the person you loved to death and beyond that leaves you to die in his love .

The only person who had been with me in my Darkness is Eric. Even my inner soul left me to find her peace with him .The peace of her which he took away with him .

Even for so many days I distanced myself from Eric but not from dad! But one night Eric came to me banging on my closed door and half of the night she stood banging on it until I opened the door for her . She came and hugged me tight without saying any word and I cried in her arms all night and she said,
" Cry !
It's OK to cry!
No one else can say you in your room tonight so just let it out .
You don't have to be strong for anyone.
Cry for everything you once were and for everything you are now ! Aura it's OK to cry as the love is real!
The feelings or real so the tears streaming from your eyes are real .
Let those tears fall for someone you thought you once knew more than anyone, but someone who's gone now!

In the college everyday I pretended to be Ok and everything is perfectly fine but at night when I enter into my room the room which feels no more mine with an empty bed and the blanket lying leisurely with wet soaked with my tears from last night .

I know this will get better someday.
The tears will stop one day.
The memories will become distant and the pain will subside but the scar of his fake love which he has given me on my heart only exist with my life for ever.

Even though I can forgive him for what he did to me , I can never forgive him for what he did to my dad. I was numb and rooted to the ground until Eric came with an ambulance and shook me from my trans . I don't know how she knew where I am but I'm very grateful to her that she came! He was on a death bed and fought with his life because of him. The moment I saw my Dad in the ICU with the tubes attached to his body supporting his life I started hating myself.