Broken

5

Jihyo was always told she should give, give her younger sisters the care she almost never had, give her parents time for themselves and take the responsibilities at their household, give her things to others who wanted them, give her seat at the classroom to the other kids and sit at the back, under the sun and not seeing the board very well. She gave and gave, and it never seemed to be enough.

When she got to meet Mina, she was happy that someone decided to give her something, for once. Even if it was just a little company going to and from school. Then Nayeon came along and the girl became ecstatic, she had two people give her something, a little bit of attention, and some company every now and then. Tzuyu showed up, and Jihyo understood Mina couldn't give her as much company anymore. Tzuyu was a great kid, she would give Jihyo a little friendship as well.

When Chaeyoung and Momo happened, Jihyo was already prepared to give up the people who would give her a little kindness, but she still hoped she could have a little company every now and then. She couldn't. Jihyo tried to be hopeful for the first few days, she went to have lunch with them, to see if they would walk home with her, but they didn't, the time for her to give up her time with them had come. She knew it was going to happen, just hoped she would have more time before it did.

So, doing what she always did, Jihyo just gave up and decided to give her time better use. She could, at least do something now, she had more time to spare, that had Jihyo knocking at the student council door, and asking for work, she should just give her free time at school to help out with something. After class, she would study and still have free time, so she decided to give her parents some help with herself, and got a part time job, so she could have some money for herself and give her share, that her parents would give her, to her sisters.

Being a student, still, Jihyo couldn't fill all her hours with shifts, so she still had a few free hours on the week. She decided to give her mother what was always wanted from her and took on more singing lessons, but they, too, had a limit. Then Jihyo decided to give others a better sight when they would chance to look at her, and went to the gym, she could always try and get a better shape.

Time went by, Jihyo had all her hours occupied with something, she was tired enough to not have to think about anything, once she got home, she would only hold off long enough to finish whatever schoolwork was left and slept out her long dreamless and restless hours. The girls happened to show up at some point, they were, again, giving her some of their time, but Jihyo knew that it was just out of politnessness. So Jihyo gave them what they asked for, one lunch.

That one lunch showed Jihyo exactly what she already knew. She saw her presence wasn't welcomed anymore, the new partners of those who would be so kind to give her some of their time weren't as nice. They demanded, with every right, the girls' time all for themselves, so Jihyo just gave them that one last encounter as her silent farewell. She just fell back into her routine, trying to not bother anyone and giving her best to do all the tasks she set herself out for.

Again, Jihyo couldn't tell how it had been, she was just pushing hour by hour, trying to keep living and keep herself busy enough to not give anyone any worries. She was beginning to forget how things were when she wasn't so busy. But she never wanted to let herself reminisce in those times, they were simply passing memories, she knew their time would come to an end, it made no sense to hold on to mere memories.

It was a friday, Jihyo had gotten off work late, she would take longer shifts on fridays and saturdays, dragged herself home hoping to find some leftover dinner, if anyone had remembered her, then just take a shower and sleep. She knew it was unlikely to truly find anything left to eat, her sisters would bring friends over and they wouldn't really leave anything behind, but she could just sleep if that was the case. It didn't matter, she had a few kilos to lose anyways, missing a meal should help. But she had been missing a meal way too often.

When she got home, her mother was waiting for her outside, an uncharacteristic smile on her face, that made Jihyo question if she had done something wrong, if she had failed to give her parents anything they wanted from her. But, when the woman spoke, she understood that her mother was just glad for her daughter, satisfied that her daughter wasn't as much of a failure. Not that she was that worried, really, she just thought that a change of pace was good for anyone, to make things livelier.

Jihyo headed to her room, as her mother had told her 'they are waiting for you upstairs'. She wasn't expecting anyone to show up, honestly, she could do with some sleep right then, she was set to work first shift the next day. Had pleaded with her manager, who said she could come, but would be sent home on the spot if she showed up not looking well enough, so she was really worried about having rested by then.

It set an eerie feeling at the pit of Jihyo's stomach, once she got to the room's door. There were familiar voices coming from inside, her sister passed by and told her to give them some peace and tell the girls to keep their voices down. Jihyo couldn't deny her, she would give her family their peaceful night, she needed to have those girls go home, leave her be, she was doing fine, she was sure she was alright. She wasn't.