Broken

62

Here is the "what happened between Chaeyoung and Jihyo on the art studio that one time" chapter I know nobody really wants to read, but I was asked and wrote it anyways.

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Smash it.

Rip it apart.

Cut it.

Punch it.

Slash it.

"All of you, shut up. None of you are really helping."

I hate when I'm like this, some people call it 'creative process', I call it annoying voices in my head not helping with anything. It happens sometimes, and I can't help but let them all out, it looks like I'm speaking to myself, my therapist says it's alright, but I still don't want Mina and Tzuyu witnessing it, not yet, at least. They might think I'm acting cold or shunning them out when I lock myself in my studio, but I don't really think these 'inspiration streaks' are all that good.

Burst that door open and let them see.

Let them all see.

Come on, they want it.

Let us meet them.

"Shut up!"

Damn, I really hope the medicine works this time, the last one didn't do much. Jihyo was the one who helped me when it stopped working, despite having been kind of a cunt to her in the beginning, she was the only one I could really go to when things went south. I know Mina and Tzuyu want to know about it, maybe I'll tell them someday, but not today, today I just need to be alone for a while.

"Chae?" It's Tzuyu, she didn't open the door yet. "Can we come in and talk? Are you alright?"

I need to keep them out right now. Right, let me just- Okay, this should do the trick. I'll just throw these down.

"Chaeyoung?" They are knocking on the door now, great. "Let us in, please. We are worried." It's Mina this time.

"I'm fine." It comes out harsher than I thought it would. "Please, just leave me be for a while."

They walk away, I'm sorry, but this is a side of me I'm not ready to throw on them yet. I'm getting better, yes, but it's still here and I know it's not something very nice to deal with. Imma sit in the corner here for a while, maybe quieting down will help. There is someone by the door again, they don't seem like leaving this time.

"Chaeyoung, are you going to talk to Jihyo, now?" Mina's voice is so small it makes my heart ache.

All I can do is let out a pained screech and hold myself a bit tighter.

"Understandable, have a nice day."

And she is gone, faster than I could bring myself to think about what I'm doing. I'm so, so sorry my loves, I really am. There's not much notion of how long it's been, but the door opens again, just a crack, and Tzuyu slides my phone into the room, I'm sure it's her, her hands are chubby, Mina's are thinner and her fingers look longer. The screen is lit, maybe still in a call?

"Chaeyoung, it's me, Jihyo. Pick it up."

I groan.

"Come on, we've been through this before, pick it up."

I move and just do as I'm told, she looks great, but very worried and slightly sad. I don't like this look, it's the same look I saw the day she bailed me out a few months ago.

"Chae, is it happening again? Talk to me."

"It's not a good day, Ji." I manage, almost grunting.