Broken

25

Jeongyeon was a pacifist, her sisters would say a coward, but she preferred to look at it on a positive light. Sana had been trying to get her to talk about her feelings, and that was something she was absolutely not about to do that. Her strategy was always to avoid it at all costs, not that she ever had trouble coming out and saying anything, Sujin always tried to pry things out of her, but she just didn't like talking and wasn't willing to change it anytime soon.

That is, until Sana cornered her and demanded they talk. The girl argued that their relationship wouldn't work forever the way it was headed and they might just break things off and save themselves the trouble. Now, Jeongyeon might be a coward, but she was a very possessive coward and losing Sana wasn't part of her plans at all, it wasn't even on the table, and that's how she found herself here. Sitting on the Minatozakis living room (mr and mrs Minatozaki weren't home), facing her girlfriend and trying to undo the knot on her throat to get the words out.

"Jegonyeonnie, look, I know you think this is bad, but I need you to talk to me. We are going nowhere, and this might just break us up if we don't try to change it." Sana pleads.

"Sacchan, look, I a-" Jeongyeon stops a little and takes a breath. "I hate this, I hate talking and I hate facing anything. But I hate even more the idea of losing you, I can't even think about it without wanting to cry. Just, help me out here a little."

"I will, babe, I will. Just take your time, we have the whole weekend, breathe a little, I'm here waiting for you."

"Thanks, I'm trying."

Jeongyeon is fidgety, Sana is waiting patiently with the most loving expression she ever had. This, talking, is something long overdue for them, the older has been pushing it since they got together, maybe since they met Jihyo, but there were some things they needed to tell each other, some things they had to know about each other. They were young and impatient, if this didn't happen now, they wouldn't be for much longer, and neither was ever considering letting go, they liked each other too much, they needed to be with each other.

"I think I'm ready to try now." Jeongyeon speaks up after a very long while.

"I'm listening."

"Look, you must know that I love you, and I'm not trying to break up or anything."

"Just say it. I already know it, I just want you to say it."

"I think there is something missing. Like, I'm very happy with you, and all that, but there is this weird feeling like something is not there. Good, I sound like a jerk now."

"Hey, no. Look at me." Sana raises Jeongyeon's face and waits until she looks into her eyes. "I love you too, and I feel the exact same way. We have each other, and I'm very happy, but I'm always missing something."

"You are? I'm sorry, I wish I was enough."

"Don't. I'm not enough for you either, and that's okay. And I have something to say about that."

"Should I be worried?"

"Not at all, I went to talk to Nayeon and Momo today, and they offered some really good points."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. And I should ask, have you ever tried talking to your parents about their relationship? Like, how do they feel about not being with their soulmates and all?"

"Sana, it's me. What are the real chances of me doing anything close to talking about anything important?"

"Great point, stupid question. So, I was talking to Nayeon and Momo about us feeling like something was missing, and she gave me another point of view that I had never thought about." Sana stops for a moment and Jeongyeon just nods for her to continue. "She said her parents aren't soulmates, just like yours. And her dad's soulmate died when he was still a child, and looks like he has this empty feeling that is always there, but he fell in love anyways and it doesn't matter if the feeling never goes away, her parents love each other, and that's what's important."

"You were right, that IS a good point of view. Still, this bothers me."

"I figured, and they also told me to talk to Mina and Tzuyu. Probably Chaeyoung as well, but mostly Mina and Tzuyu."

"And why is that?"

"They all have two flowers as well, and Mina and Tzuyu's bloomed at different times, they met Chaeyoung later on. Maybe they could offer some insight, since Nayeon and Momo only have one flower and it's their soulmate's."

"Then, talk to the trio we will."

"Are you sure you want to come with me?"

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Jeong." Sana has a annoyed look on her face.

"Okay, fine. I just want to understand what this is better. We've been feeling it for too long. And, if we have to just deal with it, we should know already."

"Thought so. I'll text Mina and ask if we could visit tomorrow."

"Alright. Now, can we just cuddle for the rest of the night? I'm not very well."

"Of course you can. Lemme just finish this."

And so, Sana does. She just grabs her phone from the coffee table and pulls Jeongyeon to snuggle against her, the older one was the small spoon and liked it, sue her. Mina takes a few minutes to answer, but agrees to meet them the next afternoon. It was decided that the trio would visit the Minatozaki's, as Sana was alone the whole weekend and they could talk more privately.

Jeongyeon falls asleep halfway into their movie, Sana smiles and kisses her head, but finishes the movie before guiding her girlfriend to bed and quickly locking up, getting ready to sleep and sliding in behind Jeongyeon, pulling her closer and drifting to sleep with a lighter heart than she had lately.