Over the course of twenty-four hours, Trinity and I have gone from aquaintances to archrivals. Everywhere we go, it's some kind of competition. The only thing we kept completely out of this child's play was Pogan. Why? If it was a fight for attention, her and I both knew he'd choose his girlfriend over me. I could accept that, however. Anyways, we competed on scavenging runs, night watches, and a recent favorite: who can kill the most zombies during extermination runs? I was a whole head ahead of her by 16 zombies, which I'm glad pissed her off. She should know as a seasoned Slayer, I'm used to seeing the gore. Observing her, I noticed she was squeamish and reluctant.
My crowbar struck what once was an old man in a wifebeater and some jeans; just relaxing at home when all of a sudden BAM! Apocalypse. Heh, I can fairly relate. Only difference was that I was a prepper long before the world turned on itself. As I happily exterminating, I heard her voice.
"Leader!" The pitch of her tone could kill a horse, but I still tried to act professional.
"Yes, Trinity?"
"Sooo, I'm supposed to get my eyebrows and hair done tomorrow... Please come with?" Are you kidding me right now?
"Are you kidding me right now?" I swung backwards and hit a zombie square in the somewhere.
"No, I'm not. Director says it's okay!"
"You even asked Director Staedler!?" BAM! I think that was the same zed, cause the same thump from before sounded.
"Pleeeease? I said I'd take you with me!" My eye literally twitched.
"You what?"
"I told him you were coming with me." Now she's trying to act cute. I may be a lot shorter than her, but I still stepped forward and spoke in a low, intimidating tone.
"What time?"
---
WAXING HURTS.
The ladies working on me were giving me a full body wax while doing my eyebrows; if this isn't painful to a person, they must have nerves of steel. Wax everywhere, especially near my eyeballs. I was due to get my hair done immediately after they stripped me of all possible hair on me, save the hair on my head.
---
BRUSHES HURT.
The lady was having such a hard time getting through the knots in my hair, and I was biting a piece of wood to keep from screaming. Trinity smirked at me from my left.
"Man up, Mettox. This is nothing compared to exterminating."
"EASY FOR YOU TO SAY! YOU JUST SIT ON YOUR ASS ALL DAY!! THIS HURTS LIKE A BITCH!!" I screamed in-between the wood and my teeth. Finally, the hairdresser got a large knot untangled, and I turned into my Nana and started thanking all the saints on the altar, even in Portuguese.
"Jeez, calm down." I glared at her, but the vice grip on this poor, cut tree came back as she worked on ANOTHER knot.
---
I felt like I lost thirty pounds of hair.
My head didn't feel like it was trapped under a natural football helmet anymore.
And best part: I found out that Trinity was planning on giving me an awful dye job, but the orders got mixed up.
She has green and bright yellow hair now.
"PAYBACK'S A BITCH!" I howled through my laughter.
"YOU'RE A BITCH!!"
"SAYS SEAWEED HEAD! HA!!" She shut up at "seaweed head" and put her hood up. That's when I felt my smile raise higher than the Grinch's. I picked up my radio and contacted Pogan. I spoke to him in Portuguese, since it was apparent Trinity can't understand a word of it.
"Pogan, venha para o refeitorio rapida. Trinity tem uma surpresa para voce."
"Eu estou no meu caminho. Por que voce esta rindo?"
"Nada." I hung up the radio, then lead Trinity to the cafeteria, post-haste.
I hope he doesn't hate me, 'cause I didn't plan for his girlfriend to look like she has plants coming out of her head.
---
"Oh my god, Trin!"
"Hey, baby."
"Mettox, what happened!?"
"She was setting ME up to get my hair dyed, but there was a mix-up, and she got her hair dyed instead." I was telling the truth, but he seemed dubious of what I was saying.
"Trin, is that true?"
"No use lying now when the truth's already out there, Trin." She sighed, then spoke up.
"It was all Mettox's fault!"
"What did you say!?"
"Well, Mettox," he sighed, "you have reason to make her look like a potted plant from the head up. Did you do this?"
"I swear on my little sister's grave, I did not set Trinity up like this." If I wanted to get revenge on her, I would hack her long-as-hell hair off. He nodded.
"Trinity, are YOU lying?" Now she looked guilty.
"... Yes."
"Trin, why?"
"'Cause I don't like her! I don't trust her!!" Nice to say when I'm right here and armed.
"Trin, are you kidding me? Why don't you like and trust her?" She fell silent, but her face grew red.
"Reasons!" She stomped out, putting her hood up, and making sure to shove me into the table when she left. Pogan and I sighed in unison. I looked over at him; he looked so stressed all of a sudden.
"What the hell did I do to get on her bad side?"
"She's told me before. She doesn't like or trust you because she thinks you're more superior, and that I'll..." He gulped. "... That I'll leave her for you." I was dumbfounded for a second, then it all fell into place in my mind.
"Well, all I can say is that if you really like her like that, stay with her and prove your loyalty. I don't wanna get in-between you two."
"Thing is, I don't 'like her like that' anymore. Ever since joining, she's changed. She and I used to go on walks, cuddle, all that cutesy stuff. Now, I'd be lucky to get in a word while she rants on about how much she dislikes you and how I've stopped trying to show affection to her. I try all the time! Sometimes I risk my damn life trying to pick her wild flowers to make bouquets, I carve little wood hearts with the knife, I try my best in any way I can!" He was speaking with his head in his hands now. He took a breath before continuing. "Why I'm still with her, I don't know. I've been considering breaking up with her, but she's kinda nuts."
"I can tell. But, are you happy in this relationship?"
"Not anynmore."
"Then what do you think you should do to maintain your happiness? And possibly your sanity?" He chuckled dryly, but continued with a frown.
"Break up with her?"
"If that's what you feel should be done, then do it. You're not gonna be happy with the same girl that gives you hell every day, right?"
"Mm-hmm."
"Right. How are you gonna go about this?"
"I just wanna tell her, but I know she won't listen..." His face suddenly brightened. "Mettox, do me a favor and pretend to be my girlfriend?" I was taken aback. Completely.
"Uh..."
