After a week or so of avoiding Him, He messaged me at 4 am around 30 times. That was the first time He told me that He was attempting suicide. It was all my fault
I heard my phone ringing, it was around 4 or 5 am. I went to answer it and it was Him. I had given him my phone number for emergencies (stupid of me, I know). I answered it and said his name a couple times, He didn't say anything back. He just hung up and then went back to messaging me on Hangouts. He typed something along the lines of "I'm dying and it's your fault", I genuinely was shocked. I felt empty like those words just took all the energy out of me. I told Him to stop, to go to the hospital, to tell me what He had done to himself. I begged him to go to the hospital, to call an ambulance, to please get help. At that moment, I felt so hopeless. Then things got off, He told me that He took a handful of pills and was throwing up out of His apartment window. He didn't live in an apartment unless he moved in a day. He lived in a house, like 2 days before this He had been showing me pictures of His house (I asked Him about this after things cooled and He ignored me). I spent the next two hours talking to Him, then I had to go to school. I remember it being a Tuesday. I had slept like an hour that night. I had been apologizing to Him over and over, promising I would be more attentive, I would be there for him, I would never do this again. Everything had been all my fault, so I was my job to save me. I was eleven years old and had spent a school night sobbing because this man had told me his death was on my hands. If he had died that night, I would have been 100% convinced that it was my fault.
For that point on, I was going to be amazing to Him. He made me swear to me and Himself that I was never going to hurt him, disappoint him, avoid him, leave him or say mean things to him again. That night he told me to cut myself to prove to him that I was telling the truth, the next day my friend why I had bandages on my arm.
Days Without Him: 6
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Him
Документальная прозаMy name is James. I need to let this out, somebody needs to know. I was groomed by a man six years older than me for almost six years. It started a month or two after I turned eleven. I just got out. I need to let this out, people need to know what...
