For that point on, I was going to be amazing to Him. He made me swear to me and Himself that I was never going to hurt him, disappoint him, avoid him, leave him or say mean things to him again. That night he told me to cut myself to prove to him that I was telling the truth, the next day my friend why I had bandages on my arm.
He and I had a talk about all the things that I had been doing wrong.
(I went back through old notebooks to find the list so this is exactly it)
1) I didn't text back fast enough
2) I didn't treat Him with the respect He deserves
3) I didn't tell Him how much he means to me often enough
4) I questioned the things He told me too often, that needed to change.
5) I talked about my significant other too much, He finds it annoying
6) I didn't tell Him beforehand when I was going to be out
7) I let my phone die too often
8) I didn't tell Him what days I had therapy
9) I talked to my friends too much about Him
10) Overall, I needed to be more interested in the things he had to say.
So, things changed. I got 'better'. We talked literally almost every hour I was awake. I used to go to the bathroom and text Him when I was at school, I would message Him from my school computer when we had them. I was always talking to Him, my partner would get jealous and tell me to cut it out. I would message Him when I was with them. He was consuming my days, my parents didn't know who he was. For the time being, they thought that I was messaging my school friends. I was so good to Him. I remembered every detail He told me about himself. To this day, I remember His favorite color from back then, I remember almost every detail. If asked what his favorite colors, favorite bands, favorite people, favorite movies have been for the past five years, I could tell you. He was constantly asking questions, He wanted to know what I was doing, where I was, who I was with at all times. It was overwhelming. I tried so hard not to annoy Him, I truly wanted Him to not be angry with me. I was such pushover and people pleaser back then. Him and I were getting closer and soon I became terrified to lose him, especially after that day he told me he was killing himself.
Days Without Him: 12
YOU ARE READING
Him
Non-FictionMy name is James. I need to let this out, somebody needs to know. I was groomed by a man six years older than me for almost six years. It started a month or two after I turned eleven. I just got out. I need to let this out, people need to know what...
