The Climber (Camren)

Chapter 5

2 weeks, I thought.

I gazed out the window with a cup of coffee between my hands. The rain poured heavily from the open cracks in the clouded sky. Physically I was sitting in my regular spot at the coffee-shop, sipping the hot liquid, but emotionally I was absent, caught in middle of haunting nightmares, foreign memories, devastating misery.

The nights where I had woken up, drenched in my own sweat and breathing heavily were countless nowadays. They hadn’t been unfamiliar to me, not even before the accident, but I’d been able to incapacitate the worse of the reminiscing with alcohol, or the high of adrenaline.

Now on the other hand it would bring me more sorrow than relief if I ever was to mix booze with the already dozen pills I had been imposed.

At the hospital there had been another sort of drug responsible for my peaceful slumbers. It was intoxicating, but it wasn’t necessary to inject it, nor swallow it. Only its present healed and calmed my soul remarkably. 

She hadn’t contacted me once though, neither a phone call or message had found its way to my phone and I didn’t know what to do anymore. The progress of my condition hadn’t improved lately either, and it seemed to decrease for each minute the hope of Camila’s return faltered. She was everywhere and seemingly in everyone I came across.

Her features and characteristic reflecting in Ally’s kindness, Normani’s guts, strangers’ eyes. Even when I’d been in the company of my little nephew Leo, Camila seemed to appear, the young boys playful behavior reminding me of the brunette’s lively personality. 

I took another sip, the coffee burning my tongue and I cringed at the unpleasant taste. I’d never been much of a coffin junky, seeing that I’d always found other ways to boost my spirit. I had the plans ready though. If I couldn’t climb to get the restlessness out I had to find another way to keep myself from falling into the dark rabbit hole, again.

And so on started my not so healthy obsession with planning. I’d used too much time sedentary, but now it was time to compensate for the lost time. I avoided using digitized utilities and preferred instead the authentic feeling of real paper, therefore various of maps were already scattered around the wooden table.

I had repeatedly marked off the different curves and places I was determined to visit. My route consisting of challenging peaks and deep, dangerous gorges; the ones I hadn’t already ascended.

“Lauren.”

I peeked up, meeting Normani’s shining brown orbs as she tilted her head to the side, studying my sketches with interest. “I hope this is some sort of project? Perhaps even work related, that would be better.”

“No, it’s my future.” I answered cockily and grinned of proudness.

Normani gaped, placing her index finger on one particularly wide circle that was marked off with a thick red tusche, “Tell me you’re not going to climb up there without security?” She furrowed her brows. “Oh my God, you are.” She exclaimed critically when I remained silent in my seat.

“Not yet, but yeah that is my main goal.” I sighed. I wasn’t very fond of people’s reaction when they were informed about my plans, mostly because they tended to react the same; Always astonished before they tried to dissuade me from it.

Normani was blinking her eyes. She gave me one of her predictable lectors, basically explaining why I was gambling on my life and how nothing good would come out of me dying.

“Lauren. Please don’t do it.”

“It’s going to be okay Normani. You know what they say, those who does not dare, does not win.” I played off philosophically.