As Lovers Go

Chapter One

The open house night is Horrible. But I don't know why. Nothing bad happens. 

I walk in with my best friend; she's the only one who understands how I'm feeling. The only one I've told everything. And she's doing her best to help me. But knows nothing she does can fix it. But she stays there for me, someone to hug when it's too much. And she knows I won't be better soon. But she doesn't give up on helping like others, and I love her for that. 

          She understands why I don't want to be back at school too. It's not the reason it is for most teens. I like the learning part, I'm a smart kid. Mostly, It's just the social part. I hate having to deal with people I can't stand. There are so many, and so few of them know I hate them. Maybe it'd be easier if they did. Maybe I should become a bad person this year. Not be the old, nice to all me. 

         This summer I didn't to have to fake liking people.

The summer camp I went to was for nerds like me. Kids who'd taken the ACT early and scored high enough. We went there for two weeks to take a college level class. Everyone who got in was smart. 

        The first day I felt at home. We were to stay in the dorms of the college running the camp, two to a room. They grouped us with 12 other girls on the floor and one proctor, who was a college student acting as a sort of camp consoler. I liked the proctor. She was a fan of my favorite TV show, a British mini-series called Sherlock. It's funny how I judge people. 

          Everyone I talked to was like me. They were smart and had weird habits and interests. I liked all the girls in my group. 

         My roommate was nice and we did yoga that day after Dinner. She was a pretty dark blonde girl named Madeline. She hated being called Maddie and was very fixated on health. She went to a boarding school which she said she loved because of the education quality, but I think she really liked it because it reminded her of Hogwarts. 

The other girls were nice too. Two of them were so tall and beautiful, they could be runway models, and I was even more impressed with their intellect than looks. 

Two pretty brunettes were roommates, Louisa and the other I don't remember. They became immediately inseparable. A girl named Tessa I became close with.  Her her was red and shaved into a hipster do with one side long and the other shaved off. She had the same taste in music, books, TV, politics, everything as me. So we became good friends. She made her own clothes too, and played several instruments, and was good at art. She was like a better version of me. Did everything I wish I could. But I didn't resent her, I thought she was awesome.

Another girl was Anni, she was short and dark haired and from Arizona. She liked Sherlock as well. 

Karina and Chelsea were two of the others, who I didn't get to know well until later.  I remember calling Karina "a psychical embodiment of the Internet" because of her wild humor. She was very pretty as well. 

And Chelsea was a lot like me, but cuter. We've become closer after leaving camp. 

Because what we had to go through after. 

After everyone got to know each other in the group, we headed to the dining hall to eat with the rest of the camp. The food wasn't bad. I noticed a skinny ginger guy with long somewhat curly hair glance at me. I smiled at him. I didn't feel the significance of our exchange at the time. 

The opening ceremonies involved cheesy skits, that were funny all the same, then we had a group activity on the lawn, but I paid more attention to the fire flies which I'd never seen before. 

The next day we'd be starting our selected class, mine was The Graphic Novel, and there'd be a whole new group of people to meet. I wasn't worried about that though. I'd already discovered almost everyone here was of some interest. I didn't consider the idea that someone in the class would change my life. But that's when you meet people who change your life, when you don't expect to in the slightest.

Now I'm going to open house night. And this isn't a room full of smart people I like, it's filled with other stupid teenagers I have to put up with. Because it's an ordinary school and I have no choice. No one here matters. 

My best friend Ashley and I walk through the door that neither one of us want to.  People smile and hug each other, I get hugged too. 

People ask if I had I good summer and I nod. Ask if anything interesting happened and I shrug; they don't actually want me to tell them. They say they're looking forward to seeing me in school, that they've missed me. I lie and say I've missed them too. 

I walk numbly through to the gym to buy PE uniforms. I do my best to be ignored but keep running across people wanting to talk. A girl I hate who still considers herself my friend gives me one of her fake happy smiles. I return an equally false one. 

Finally I can leave.

School starts in less than a week now. So soon I have to put up with these people every day. 

When I get home, I find privacy, my family, Mom, Dad, sister, they're too nice to have to deal with my issues. So I go to my bed and collapse, shaking with sobs. I hate everything; my mundane life. I miss this summer. When I felt special and accepted, and so loved. 

I wish I could talk to the one who changed my life. 

And I wish I could be happy.