"So" I sigh, standing at the door of my house beside Skwisgaar. His eyes dart across the walls and I can't help but feel ashamed.
"It ams nice," he says.
"I'm trying to move out at the moment," I assure him. "Thanks for everything."
I open the door and step inside, offering a small smile. Just as its about to close he grabs it and pulls it open. His expression is hard to read. I've come to learn that every time that happens I should be nervous. It's hard to tell what could come out of his mouth at this point. My stomach turns and I find myself eagerly anticipating whatever it is he's about to say.
"Ams we really goings to keeps doing this?" he asks. By my own expression I'm sure he can tell I don't quite understand, so he continues.
"Ams we not goings to talks for another two, three weeks? You ignore me."
My heart starts to race. I don't know what I'm feeling. My brain tries to process this, which takes longer than I realize. Skwisgaar starts to get impatient.
"Does you evens likes me? At all?" his voice is low, sincere. He's not referring to some sort of childish crush. He's talking about himself, as a person. I do like him, I think to myself. Why can't I say it?
"I'm scared," I blurt out with no prior thought. My face reddens, I'm not sure whether it's because I'm embarrassed or because I really do feel something.
I can say, however, that it's all starting to make sense. It's why the extent of most relationships for me are just one night stands. The only real relationship I've had was when I was in high school, and that only lasted a few months.
By now he's probably confused. His brows come closer together, and even though he looks down on me I can tell he's not trying to intimidate me.
"It's not that I'm scared of commitment, it's just... I don't want to get hurt."
He puts a hand on my shoulder and I feel it's warmth radiate on my skin. "Why do you thinks I'd hurts you?"
"Not you, just... I..." I struggle to find the right words, not certain whether or not I'd like to tell him why I don't trust relationships. But then the events of last night slowly come back to me. The way he cared for me, protected me.
Before I know it he's sitting on my bed and everything I've kept to myself all these years is spilling out of my mouth, I have no control.
"My dad is in prison. He set me up for a shitty life from the start. I was little when he was arrested, around 5."
I feel my throat start to close up as I attempt to choke out the next sentence. Skwisgaar places his hand on mine, eyes focused on me as he awaits the end of my story. I haven't spoken about it in years. I don't like to think about it, but something about him tells me I can.
"He's the reason my mom's dead."
That's all I leave it at. I have to find some way to control what I say, so I let tears overcome me. Skwisgaar quickly wraps his arms around me and engulfs me in a tight embrace. I've never trusted relationships because everyone always ends up hurt. That's what my entire childhood taught me. Skwisgaar isn't like that, though. That's what confuses me. He seems to have some sort of wall up, too.
His hands stroke my hair and he gently rocks side to side for a while, which seems to calm me down a bit.
"I'd never hurts you likes that," he whispers minutes later. I pull back and he wipes my tears away with his thumbs, smiling as a grin spreads across my own face. I'm done questioning my actions. I didn't think that, even after all these years, I'd ever be at peace with my past. Maybe it was him who helped me.
Whatever the real reason for any of this is, it doesn't matter. I place my hands around his neck and lean in for a kiss. It lasts longer than I would've expected, but it soothes my mind to the point where I forget everything else. Instead of the usual hands on my waist, he wraps his arms around my back in a comforting hug.
He ends up sticking around for the rest of the day, and we just lay in bed next to each other talking about anything on our minds. He even tells me about his mother and her outrageous sexual endeavors. We're really not as different as I thought.
Woah so I haven't updated in a while. I hope you liked this chapter. I've read a lot of stories like this and all the main characters are so hollow and have like no backstory. That or what they do have is cheesy and/or poorly written. I'm not saying I'm the best writer but I'm here to put an end to bland protagonists! (Hence the insane drama of this chapter) As always, thanks for reading!
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Dethklok- Intoxicate Me
أدب الهواةAll it took was one night. One night for Bea to become enamored with the tall guitarist. One night for Skwisgaar to accidentally find the person who'd ultimately take his breath away. Neither of them actually knew it at first, though. They actually...