depression is my "mental" illness
i fall into this mind space where everything around me is trying to hurt me in some form or shape. just pushing me deeper into this space.
sadly, there's no cure for this. there never will be, but i do wish there was.
bc of this feeling, i have scars on my arm that tells the story of times i was in my room crying. holding a blade in one hand hoping not to go to deep. i listen to music to block the thoughts. but it only makes it worse, making me think of the times i was five, holding both of parents hands down the streets, walking to the park. watching them smile. not knowing what was going on in this world.
HATRED
DEATH
JUDGEMENT
but now that i see those things, i dont know what to think. i just wish that i can be in a world where everyone is happy. that stress didn't turn into anger. or hatred, for what was happening.
i hate it. I HATE THAT VIOLENCE IS THE "ANSWER" TO EVERYTHING.
guns is put in the hands of the untrusted. people who have depression try taking their lives with guns. homes are being robbed bc people have guns. people are going crazy bc they have secrets, SECRETS THAT MAKE THEM FUCKING CRAZY. guns are the way to solve answers, ARE THEY THE ONLY FUCKING ANSWER TO YOU?! people are being killed. everytime your heart beats another heart stops, just know a family is getting a call bc people are choosing violence over punching a goddamn punching bag to let it out. their mother wanting to die, cause shes not able to hold her husband in her arms anymore. the kids have no father figure in the home. sooner or later the mom goes to alcohol for help. she becomes an alcoholic, her kids notice everything. their life falls down.
cause of fucking violence. we're all dumbass, cause we all turn to violence.
