Finding Solace. (ON HOLD)

Surrendered to the darkness....

******TYLER'S POV*****

PAIN...it's the only thing I know, it's the only thing I feel, and it's been the same since last five years.......

Just....PAIN!!!

"Ughhhhhhh!!!" I screamed my lungs out. 'Why can't this pain be ceased? Why does it still hurt? After so many years? Why?' I have been asking this question to myself since THAT DAY.... The Day which flipped my world upside down, The Day which inflicted never ending pain upon me, the same day which left everlasting scars on my soul and ripped away the half. There is nothing in this world for me, I'm nothing without the other half of my soul, I'm never going to be healed, and all I can see is darkness everywhere.... And all I can feel is...

just PAIN.....!!!!

There was a time when wandered here and there but there's nothing which could ease the pain. I tried to drown myself in the bottles of whisky.... I tried to burry myself into other girls, I tried to erase myself in the smoke of drugs, but that constant pain has never left me since THAT DAY. I've never been the same since then. My body resists to breathe without HER, my heart refuses to beat in HER absence and my soul is shattered since the day she decided to leave me ... now I'm devoid of all the emotions, what I see everywhere is darkness... and what I feel is .....

Just PAIN...!!!!

In these past 5 years so many things became foggy, Now I try to listen to her laughter but my mind can't conjure her beautiful voice for me, I try to create her mesmerizing image in my mind but I all I get is a hazy smile, with blurry eyes...'Why the fuck is this happening?, Is the time of my grieving over?, NO WAY!!!! How the hell this can happen? This is the only thing that keeps me alive, what am I going to do if her memories will wipe out?' I was having this discussion with myself, wondering what's the best way to cope up with this? But all I gathered was ... there's no reason to be alive when her memories are going to fade away like this , because this has been the sole purpose of my life since THAT DAY...to mourn over my loss and if this purpose is being snatched away too then why should I stay alive?? And if I'm going to leave this world for good nobody will be bothered by my nonexistence. Well, my father, Ray, would've worried, provided that he's still alive but as he's not here anymore and Since his death my mum has kept herself busy in the hotel business, which my father had left. There's no one in this whole damn world to worry about me, or care whether I live or die. I guess it will be easier for mum too as I've been a trouble for her, since my father's death. She will have one less thing to worry about, other than the big Hotel to look after. So, I planned to detach myself from this misery... engulfed by the darkness and surrender myself to this PAIN.

Alone in my room I contemplated on ways to end up my life, chugging glass after glass of drinks, thinking that it may help to ease the pain but who am I kidding?? There isn't any single thing in this world that I haven't tried but nothing ever worked. The pain kept on eating me since that terrible day. When she thought I didn't love her the most, the day she thought I'd left her alone, and she decided to end her life as I wasn't there for her... 'Oh Why my Love?? Why would you think I'd left you? Didn't you know you were the reason for every breath I took? The why didn't you wait for some more days? Only if you could've waited for few more days.... Just a few more days.... Oh Naomi!!! I miss you my Love... so much that it hurts...Naomi...' this was the last thought on my mind I called her once more, before the darkness wrapped its arms around me and I drifted off to more darkness. Because since the day she left me I stopped dreaming. There was darkness everywhere and nothing else. As I floated further in the darkness, wandering aimlessly, biding the time when my eyes decide to open up on their own to face the other day, but I secretly prayed they don't. Suddenly, I saw some light pouring over me. I searched for the source of that light, which was lightning me, making my whole body glow, but I couldn't find it. I panicked and opened my eyes to find myself drenched in sweat in the middle of a chilly September night, wondering how can there be light in my dark world? I got out of my bed and walked towards the balcony thinking of the good times I had with her. I searched and searched and searched but I couldn't find her anywhere in my mind. 'Naomi!! Please don't do this to me.' I called out to no one in the darkness. 'You know I love you my girl, I always have and I always will love you, please don't leave me forever , please come back to me...... NAOMIIIII!!!!' I let my tears take over to what words can't express and I cried harder as the pain within me amplified. If I could only see her, or hear her ... I know the pain will fade away. She was my comfort, my peace, my everything .... 'Tyler...' I smiled with glistening eyes as I hear her, 'Oh thank goodness Naomi!! You're back..!!!' and then I saw her all dressed in white floor touching gown, she looks like an angel...my angel . She walked slowly towards me and placed her palm on my face and I leaned into her touch she looked the same as she was five years ago. Her touch brought back all the memories we had together. I was so overwhelmed by her presence that I couldn't utter a single word I was just looking at her wide eyed... not believing the slightest that she's here right in front of me. I gathered all me strength and whispered ' I missed you my girl' she smiled and said ' I know , I have been watching you for this whole time but Tyler you have to let me go and start over, this isn't the life I wanted you to live' I was so shocked to hear what she's saying that words chocked in my throat, 'W-What are you saying Naomi? How can I do this? You know, you were wrong to leave me like this and now you are asking me to let go of you memories too? How can you be so unfair love?' she didn't say anything just smiled looking at me and kissed my cheek, 'you've to let go Tyler, trust me, life is waiting for you out there. It's useless to stuck here, go out and live Tyler, please' and she started to fade away. 'No..No..No! I don't want to live a life without you please stay Naomi, please'. Fresh tears found their way and I tried to stop her as she slowly faded away in the darkness, she smiled and said 'Remember Tyler, Let me go and live', and she disappeared into the darkness, ' NAOMIIIII!!!' I jolted up, realized I had slept again in the balcony and she visited me in my dream but she wanted me to let go of her which is never going to happen and at that point I made up my mind that I am not going to live without her. I am going to end this life once and for all and be with her forever... I will be with my angel.... I will take away my life... Like she did....!

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Hey Fellas!!

This is all I could come up with, I know it's a short chapter but I hope you like it.

Any idea why Naomi thought Tyler didn't love her enough?

Feel free to comment and share your views . How was the chapter ?? Can't wait to hear from you. :)
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Stay blessed.

Regards,

S.K. :)