Finding Solace. (ON HOLD)

Embracing the pain...

*****KAYTAN'S POV*****

PAIN...

My constant companion since I became aware of my ambiances. People usually try to escape from it but I embraced it with open arms. It's not like I've never been sad because of it but I used it to fuel up my emotions, I wore it as my pride as it helped me to face every challenge of life effortlessly. I'm never going to say that it was an easy thing to get along with but I managed somehow and you know what? I survived!!!

I still remember the little 7 years old girl....

'No I don't like that' she said warily 'why baby girl? Doesn't it feel good when I touch you here?' and the elderly man , who's supposed to be the uncle, moved his hands maliciously over the little girl's body, he slid his hand under the hem of her T-shirt and pressed certain parts so the girl cried out with pain. 'Please don't do this, it hurts' she tried to wiggle out her body from the grasp of the man but he held on to her tightly and threatened her,' Don't you even dare to say a single word to anyone or I'll hurt you in ways you can't think about, you understand?' the little girl nodded and ran out of the room. Generally, any small girl in this situation would've cried but that little girl buried all that shit inside the deepest corner. And that was not the first encounter she had... there were countless which were already buried inside her and many to come ... she knew it already.

'Kaytan! Kaytan! , KAY!! What the hell?' I was pulled out of the agonizing memory stroll by my friend, Rachel, 'Day dreaming about knight in the shining armor, are we? I've been calling your name for like ... ages' I tried to look at her past the smoke surrounding me. It was one of the college acquaintance's small room, buzzing with music, where guys and girls usually hangout for drinks and hash. Rachel asked me to join today as she wanted to introduce me to some new guys at the college and who the hell was I to say no for free booze, so I agreed.

'Fuck Off Rach, I was just wondering when your those newbies gonna show up' I tried to divert her scrutinized attention to something of her interest. 'Oh darling! That's why I was calling your name, they're here... and girl...They.Are.Hot!!' She wiggled her eyebrows and I laughed at her silliness. I looked around to see four legitimately handsome boys, in casual clothes, were getting acquainted with the people around. One of them turned, his eyes met mine and he winked. I blessed him with my most flirty smile and he started walking towards me, 'Oh damn girl! You don't even put an effort and guys start to drool over you, that's not fair' Rachel complain beside me, I know she's trying to lighten my mood as she was aware of my next move of hurting myself.

As the guy approached, I brushed off my clothes and stood up 'Hi! I'm Josh, I'm new here as you might've already noticed that. May I know who this gorgeous is?' he asked Rachel as he inclined his head towards me, I answered before Rach 'I'm Kaytan, friends call me Kay' he moved his hand forward for the handshake. 'O Fuck it, cut the crap man, Let's get stoned' As I grasped Josh's hand, I saw concern written all over Rachel's face I gave her a reassuring smile and mouthed 'It's OK! Trust me, I got this,' then, I pulled Josh towards the kitchen counter, which was flooding with booze. I grabbed cup after cup and chugged it down my throat, feeling the burn deep inside me.

'Whoa! Slow down Kaytan what's the rush?' Josh asked me and I chugged down another cup without bothering to answer him. He was looking at me wide eyed and was taking his drinks down slowly. Soon the alcohol started to kick in and I swayed from my place. Josh's hand snaked around my waist as he supported me, 'There, I got you covered' he pulled me closer 'Let's get you somewhere safe and make you comfy' I was conscious about what's going to happen now so I let Josh steer my body out of the room, towards his car and to a place God knows where.

Next thing I know that I was lying topless on a huge bed, I closed my eyes as I felt weight on the bed and waited for the torture to begin, It felt like razor sharp blades were cutting me as Josh's hands traveled my body. He gripped, kneaded, pinched, smacked, groped and scratched my body but I stayed there ...unresponsive...numb to everything. I wanted to erase all the traces of HIM from my mind, heart, body and soul therefore I always willingly surrender to this kind of excruciating torture.

Only thing that betrayed me were my tears which escaped from my eyes... I wasn't perturbed by the manhandling of my body but I was welcoming the new lesions on my soul to erase the old ones from the betrayal of the one whom I thought was my only true love. 'Aaron!!' I whispered his name before falling into the darkness and embracing my only true companion...

PAIN...!!!

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Hey Fellas!!

Another update !!! Hope you like it :)

Kay's Childhood.. :( What do you think her past will make her weak?? or strong?

Do you think Kay is justified in punishing herself further after being betrayed by Aaron?

Any guesses what the hell that Aaron guy did??

Feel free to comment and share your views and don't forget to click the star ;)

Stay blesses

Regards,

S.K.