I often wonder what happens when someone dies, or if I die. Does everything just stop? I'm would like to find out but I don't know if I have enough balls to follow through, I often feel like I want to but that will leave HER all alone, the only ONE who CARES. SHE is all I have. The only one that doesn't constantly hurt me and bring me down.. I have pressed the tip of a knife to my throat to see how it felt, it was all curiosity, I want to know how much pressure it takes to open my wind pipe. Shed some beautiful dark red blood. What does it take? Why am I so fucked up? Where is this so called Holy Spirit?
