“Since you two thought it was funny with Niall and I last time,” Louis said, “I dare you two to play a game of gay chicken!”
I choked on my sixth beer, “What?”
“I’m down,” Harry said as he started making his way towards me.
“Wait hold it curly,” I objected, “I’m not down, okay.”
“Letting Harry win, aye?” Niall mocked.
Liam started, “Guys, maybe we shouldn’t make the-“
“You weren’t the one who had to do it last time.” Louis said.
“Zayn, just get it over with.” Harry sighed and sat down next to me on the small loveseat couch.
I gave Liam a worried look. He’s the only one who knows about my feelings for Harry, not even Harry knows. I’ve wanted to grab Harry and kiss him for a while now, but not this way.
Niall interupted my thoughts, “What’re you waiting for, lads? Get it done.”
I sighed and looked over at Harry. He nodded and put his hand on my face. I bit my lips as he pulled me closer to him. Here it does, my first and probably last kiss with Harry. He gulped a bit and I could tell he was uncomfortable.
“Do you guys really need to watch?” he asked.
“Fine,” Louis said and stood up out of his chair, “But if you don’t do it and lie to me, I swear to god above.”
“Ugh, we won’t lie to you Louis. We’ll do it.”
Louis and Niall made their way out of the room as Liam trailed a bit behind. He gave me an encouraging glance as he closed the door behind him. Harry turned his attention back to me and a sick smile spread across his lips. He seemed to pounce on me after that.
He smashed his lips down on mine and his tongue found entry almost immediately. I grabbed his hair and started pulling on it as the kiss deepened. Eventually his tongue surrendered a little and mine dipped into his mouth. His taste filled me and awakened all my senses. It was like getting woken up by having ice cold water dumped on you.
His hands found the bottom of my shirt and started tugging it up over my head. I broke the kiss for a second so I could pull his shirt off. He grabbed me and flipped me so that he was on top looking down at me. He started slowly biting and sucking on my neck. A low groan escaped me and filled the room.
“I know you’ve wanted this for a long time, Zayn,” Harry whispered in my ear as his hand slipped down my pants, “What do you want me to do to you?”
“So many dirty things,” I growled.
I could hear the smirk in his voice, “Well, then I’ll make sure this is something you’ll never forget.”
He slipped his other hand into my pants started shoving my pants and boxers down at the same time. His hand grazed past my hard on and he smirked. Once he got my pants and boxers off, i went to work on getting his off. Once we were both naked, Harry started slowly kissing from my neck down to my stomach. When he got to the end of my stomach, he started kissing the inside of my thigh. I moaned, not quietly either, anyone in the room next to us could probably hear but I was past the point of caring.
Harry started grinding into me, at first slow but then faster and faster. I started shouting random curses, some at him and then at no one in particular. We were both breathing heavy and the room kept rising in temperature, or maybe it was just us. Harry pulled his lips back up to mine but his hands went in the opposite direction. He started trying to flip me over so he coud finish the job, but I stopped him.
“Harry,” my voice cracked, “I don’t have a-“
“It’s not like I can get pregnant, Zayn.”
Before I could object any further he flipped me over and straddled me. I held my breath and grabbed the arm of the chair. Harry shoved himself into me and a loud yelp came from me. He started grinding into me and going in and out. I screamed his name and was about to a second time when his hand covered my mouth.
“Zayn, I’m about to-“
He released himself into me which made space even tighter. I screamed, it hurt but felt so good at the same time. He turned us onto our side and grabbed my ever growing man hood. He started massaging me and I let out a groan.
“Can you shut up?” Harry snapped, “They’re gonna think something’s wrong and come in here.”
“I’m sorry,” I murmured.
He continued to grind into me from behind as he massaged me. I couldn’t help but moan and yelp a few times, but he was doing it too. I released myself all over Harry’s hands but he didn’t seem to care. He flipped us back over so he was sitting on top of me again. The grinding started again and I couldn’t hold my next words in.
“Harry, I love you. Keep going!” I yelled.
Harry came to an abrupt stop and I realized that I had said something wrong. He shook his head and pushed off of me.
“Harry, it’s okay if you don’t-” I started.
“No, I’m sorry. This was a mistake, Zayn. A very big drunk mistakes,” Harry sighed, “I didn’t mean to lead you on, but there’s nothing more than this. I would actually appreciate if this stays in this room and never leaves, please.”
“But Harry, after what we just did how could you just walk out on me? Is that all you wanted from me?” one single hot tear ran down my cheek, “I love you.”
“I’m sorry, Zayn.”
He finished pulling on his clothes and gave me one last somber glance. I watched him leave the room and felt myself crack. I had been upset and had plenty of heartbreak before, but this just felt different. I felt like my heart had shattered into a million pieces. I pulled my knees up to cover my face and started rocking back and forth. Harry doesn’t love me, and he never will. I gave him everything, and he didn’t even care in the least.
After about half and hour os sobbing my eyes out and shaking, I looked up at the bathroom across from me. Liam always kept his things in it. He only has one kidney, which means he has pills. My hands were shaking as I got up from the couch and made my way towards the bathroom. I opened the first cabinet and found a big container full of yellow shaded pills. I took a deep breath and opened the container.
My hands were still shaking, and why wouldn’t they be. I was about to do something I never expected to. Not having Harry was like not having life anyways. Not even our friendship would ever be the same after this. I had completely lost the love of my life, and I’m not getting him back.
I pulled my hand up to my mouth and the pills were down my throat. Deep breathes, I thought to myself. I plopped down on the couch and felt the effects almost immediately. The door busted open and Liam came running in.
“Zayn? What’d you do? Oh my god, Zayn! Did you take these? What the hell is wrong with you!” Tears were freely running down his face as he pulled out his phone and dialed emergancy, “My friend he- he tried to kill himself. Please hurry.”
“Liam,” I said and smiled at him, “Tell Harry not to do anything stupid. Tell him and the rest of the boys that I love them, including you.”
“It’s alright, Zayn. You’ll be alright,” Liam sobbed, “Don’t say goodbye. Please.”
“I’m sorry.”
Harry running in was the last thing I saw before everything went black, and I was gone.
