Ducks and Danny (Danny DeVito X Reader)

Two by Two (Chapter Three)

*Knock*

*Knock*

*Knock*

"{Reader}, please stop knocking on my door, you've been at it for an hour now."

"I need a sidekick, Lando." You stated in a demanding manner.

"Oh god, whatever you're up to just leave me out of it. Just please find someone else..."

You couldn't just "find" someone else... it HAD to be Lando. It had to be Lando because the whole point of a sidekick is finding an accomplice who does NOT wanna go. The entirety of a sidekick is for them to hassle you the whole time, make it difficult to enjoy the daring adventure and make lame, worrisome jokes.

You started to gain frustration with Lando's resistance.

"Lando, you pack your bags, come out, and drive me to the airport right now or our f*cking friendship is over forever!"

Lando was silent.
"..."

You waited.
"..."

"... You know, our friendship has been whacky anyway..."
"Lando! I will not even talk to you in the next life, that's how serious this is! Hurry up!"

You heard a sigh as he unlocked his front door to let you in.

You walk into his boring flat, immediately making way to his living room couch to wait while he grabs together his things.

"So where are we going?" He asks, grabbing himself and you a glass of water.

"Paris..." You say, determined.

Lando quickly takes a sip out of his water just so he can spit it out in a dramatic fashion.

"Paris?!" He repeats in explanation.
Lando begins tries to stutter out words but is only able to form, "I-I don't k-know, man... I mean... my-my wife wouldn't be t-t-too found the of the idea of me b-being away at Paris..."

Your wife?" You say while raising a brow.

Your eyes suddenly take notice of the long pillow next to you with an anime girl on it.

Lando ran over and grabbed the pillow, protectively.

"You shut up, Miku is just very protective!"

He then went on to console the pillow.
"Look you hurt her feelings." He said, his eyes trying to cut you down with its harsh glare.

This event made you realize that, of all things, Lando NEEDED to get out of the house.

~An Hour Later~

After a hassling and chasing Lando down a with fork, you finally got him to pack his bags and the both of you start heading to the door.

Before you can exit the sad house, however, Lando grabs on to "Miku-Chan" exchanging his one-sided sorrows/goodbyes.

His extends the amount of time (all the while decreasing your amount of patience) with poetic gibberish gargled down with passionate sobs.

You feel the snapping of your last string of forbearance.

"PUT THE DAMN ANIME WIFE IN YOUR BAG!" You scorn as you shove his precious pillow into his suitcase.

With that, both of you head off into Lando's white van and begin your travel to the airport.

It's time to get your man...