College Tales

Our Struggle

Everyone says you're going through a lot, that you're struggling.

But what about me, the one who got left behind?

What happens to me, the one who just wants to forget

That you ever existed and we're important.

How do I become like you,

You who found a way to forget

Any feelings you had?

How do I, lost in this confusing time,

Also forget about you?

If you are struggling, only imagine

How I have been struggling these past three months.

Only imagine what it was like for me,

And then maybe I could sympathize with you.

Imagine how it must be for me

To want nothing more than to hold a small conversation

Without worrying if I'm talking too much,

If I'm hurting your feelings.

Because to hell with mine, right?

To hell with how much I cared,

How much I still care,

How much I still want to be friends.

If only I could forget or move on.

If only I could maybe burn or discard

Any tangible thing you once gave me or I gave you.

But I couldn't do it, even if it meant

I could be freed from whatever feelings

I still hold on to.

I wouldn't do it because, maybe,

I still hope you'll wake up

And realize I don't hate you.

Maybe you'll realize I enjoy talking to you,

Whatever the context.

Maybe you'll see one day we can be friends,

Or whatever life declares,

But I'm sure that day will never come.

So I'll cling to my memories,

My hopes and dreams,

And I'll find a place within the dusty shelves of my mind

To store "you" until the time is right

And we can finally talk like people.

Until then, I'll just keep asking myself

Why people remind me that you're struggling

When I'm the one who's dying inside.