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liked by imogenvoss, teddygeiger, shawnmendes and 394,201 more
samaracavelli good morning from the 6
imogenvoss omg so cute
mendesupdated am I tripping or is that Shawns dresser uhhhhhhh
The rest of the gender reveal party ran smoothly and everyone else was so excited. I didn't know what to do about the kiss because after it happened, he acted as if it didn't. I wanted to talk about it so badly, I just didn't know how.
Shawn had already gone back to Toronto and now he was finishing up the US leg of tour. I was supposed to leaving within the next few days to see him, but I was nervous about traveling being this pregnant.
Dr.Carroll said that even though I was healthy it was time to start understanding the risks of a premature birth and that's something that worried me. What if I were to go into labor on a plane? She said it was unlikely for me, but that didn't stop it from worrying me.
It had only been about two weeks but I really was missing Shawn. I guess Karen was right when she said the baby can sense when I'm lonely. Even when I wasn't missing Shawn, I was. I know it's because Kora was missing Shawn.
Now knowing that we were expecting a girl, everything felt different. The way I looked at the future seemed different, the way I saw her seemed different, the way it felt carrying her felt different.
"When do you leave for Toronto?" My mom asked, as we sat on the couch.
"Tomorrow. But I don't know." I said.
"Are you nervous? You guys didn't really talk after that kiss." She said.
"I don't know. It just feels like he's realizing he doesn't want to be as involved as he said he did. That's what makes me nervous," I replied.
"I doubt that's the case." My mom put her hand over my own and I looked over at her.
"It just feels that way."
The next day, I woke up to last minute pack. I still figured I'd back out on going to Toronto all together and just blame it on the fact that I felt too sick to travel. The way Shawn had been acting, it just seemed as if he were slowly realizing that he made a mistake and didn't want to be involved anymore.
If he didn't want to be involved, I certainly didn't want to make him involved or make him feel forced to be. This is exactly why I didn't want him to get involved in the first place, because he was already thinking about bailing.
Why did he kiss me? It came out of no where and I was expecting any of it. Nobody was.
I made my way to the airport and hopped on a plane to Toronto. The flight wasn't too long and get this, I didn't go into labor so that was nice. Haha, I sound so stupid sometimes.
