On Cloud Nine ✧Jeffrey Dean Morgan

Chapter 27

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GU9arbwaeyU

''I know right? Rami Malek is perfect for the role, I'm so glad they chose him'' I told Danai as we were sitting on a couch at the side of the room, talking about how excellent Bohemian Rhapsody was. We were at yet another party, a very big one this time. There were both celebrities and unknown people, like me. 

''That man is indescribably talented. To be able to sing and act like Freddie? Rami simply became a legend himself'' Danai was so excited to had found someone to talk about Rami Malek with that she wouldn't stop. She was simply adorable, always very enjoyable to talk to. While she kept on talking about the actor and the movie, I took a glance at Jeffrey who seemed to be in a deep conversation with a man I had never met. There was also a girl who sat too close to him. 

Andrew joined Danai and I, the conversation leading to praise and critic for other movies and actors. Myself, I couldn't stop following that girl's moves, how she kept trying to get even closer to Jeffrey, how she kept touching his arm when he told a joke. I shouldn't be like that, Jeffrey did definitely not look interested in her actions, so there was no reason for me to worry or even care. 

''I'll be right back'' I smiled at Danai and Andrew as I stood up and headed towards the love of my life. Standing behind Jeffrey and placing my hands on his shoulders, I greeted everyone. The woman next to my husband-to-be looked at my hands in disgust, but I shrugged it off. 

''Hello, darling'' Jeffrey said as he reached to grab one of my hands and kissed it. ''Where have you been?''. 

''Oh, here and there'' I smiled. ''What are you guys up to?''. 

''Michael here is a very big fan of the Seahawks. Just talking 'bout how good they are, pretty much'' he was so excited every time he mentioned Seattle Seahawks. I jokingly rolled my eyes, I never liked American soccer, thought it was boring. ''I'm getting another drink. You want anything, love?'' he smiled at me so handsomely that I felt butterflies in my stomach. 

''I'm good for now, thank you'' I replied as I watched him get up and leave for the bar area. The stranger woman left as well and I decided to take a seat and chat up with this Michael guy, since everyone else was engaged in something else. ''Hey, you now what, I'm actually gonna get a drink too'' I told him as soon as I felt awkward because we didn't really have much to talk about. 

Before getting the drink, I went for the toilet but the queue was too long. Knowing there was another toilet at the other side of the venue, I went there and right after turning the corner of the hall I saw Jeffrey and the woman from earlier kissing. I didn't see the way there were kissing - not that I wanted to, I just saw that their lips were against each other. It took me less than a second to turn around and leave; I never waited to see more of it, less than a second was enough.  

It took all I had to keep the tears from coming until after getting my coat from the cloakroom and going through all the people, friends and strangers. I tried to avoid eye contact with anyone, so that they wouldn't start conversation; I didn't want anyone to see me crying. 

Once I was out, I started walking. At first normally, then I was taking long steps that turned into running. I couldn't breathe, I felt too much. It felt like I was under water, like I was sinking and failing to bring  myself up to the surface. My heart was hammering against my chest, my head pounding, if felt as if every part of my body was asking for oxygen. 

Tears burst out like cascades and I was unable to stop them from coming. I didn't want to either; I had to cry, otherwise I'd suffocate. The scene I had seen would not stop playing in my head and I kept running and running in the cold February air like I was being chased by wolves. 

When my legs couldn't take me any further, I called a cab and went straight home. No, it wouldn't be my home anymore. I went straight to Jeffrey's place. In a hurry, tears still falling down my cheeks, I packed every single thing that belonged to me and looked at the house once more, for the last time. The last and hardest thing I had to do was saying goodbye to Bandit and Honey; I loved them so much that I didn't know how I was going to live without them. Though I had to. 

''You are forever going to be my favorite beings on this planet'' I held them close to me as I sat on the floor and cried. How could I explain to them that I was never coming back? That that was the last time we would see each other? All because their father decided it was time to fuck me up, to cheat. Fuck me, I was so hurt, so sad and disappointed that I started sobbing on the floor, the dogs on my lap. They didn't understand, how could they? 

Before I got in my car, I left the key on a chair on the porch and left. I left and never looked back, though I wanted to. 

No one should ever drive in my condition. I could barely see, tears worsened my sight. I could barely breathe, my heart and lungs feeling like collapsing. I could barely feel anything yet I felt everything. It felt so unreal, like I had only had a nightmare. The pinches and slaps I gave myself proved that it was all real. 

It hurt. I would rather had taken a knife to my stomach than get hurt by the man I loved so much. How could Jeffrey do that? He was the love of my life, the man I had given my everything to, the man that had asked me to marry him. 

Why would he do that?